I'm usually known to be cool under pressure. Unemotional, even. But there's a good reason for my tight control over myself. I make the absolute worst decisions when I lose it, and things get silly after that.
I haven't lost it for a long while now, but today I discovered that I have major trust issues and when I sense a lack of support, my entire facade crumbles. I say major trust issues because when I take charge of my own initiatives, I always picture myself leading the charge while my whole army is wandering off the battlefield somewhere behind me. A Quixotic image, I suppose.
So when I designated tonight as movie nite for the Dept, perhaps I had already deemed it to be a lost cause even before I announced it. Originally, only a small handful expressed interest, but by today, even those looking forward to it informed me to go "enjoy myself," and by this afternoon I lost my famous control and peevishly cancelled the whole thing, vowing to never ever set myself up for such disappointment again.
But it turned out that I had misread Mel's RSVP: that she and Wayne were still keen though Linc was unavailable. It was a very badly worded SMS, considering my mood when I received it. I thought all 3 were cancelling on me, leaving um... just me and Anne to enjoy a Dept movie nite. Not quite the critical mass I was hoping for.
When I got back on campus in the evening, Mel and Anne were still there and Wayne was on his way back from wherever he had gone. And like the army of "Deadites" facing off against Bruce Campbell, movie nite refused to die too.
So there were 4 of us, plus Vince who dropped in for a while. Pretty decent of Mel, Wayne and Vince who've watched the movie before to spend the evening with me anyway. And Anne, I think, had a blast as the only first-timer watching "Army of Darkness".
And now, stuffed with Mel's hi-class biccies, Orville Redenbacher's microwave popcorn and Coke, we're thinking maybe we'll have another screening of another movie, hopefully sometime soon. We'll see...