Saturday, February 09, 2008

Women are such incredible motivators for men to do great things. Or if not, then to just get off their lazy butts and do constructive things with their lives. It's sort of biologically hardwired in us guys that women have to be impressed, and so we scramble to make ourselves more outstanding, to prove we can provide, to otherwise jump up and down, wave out arms and yell, "Pick me! Pick me!"

But over time, guys discovered the online world, and they have started overwriting their biological programming with Internet code. It's something of a revolution. They're tired of women pushing them around, making them jump through hoops, and saddling them with irrational domestic responsibilities at the prime of their lives. No longer are guys content to be willing victims, sacrificing themselves to the altar of the preying mantis / black widow sisterhood. Guys have finally found a way to turn their backs on hormonal tyranny and return to what nature intended them to be: slacking, unwashed neanderthals, as they "huddle together and have fun" for the rest of their parents' lives. The Internet: the saviour of MANkind, fancy that!

Boys. Heh, what do they know? All it takes is one woman to be firm enough, who will reach out, grab and drag the unwary guy home by the ear to reactivate the biological imperative again. For me, I believe that when June decided to take me home, reality split in two. In one reality, June never appeared in my life and I'm still the 'home boy' that I was more than a decade ago. But in this reality, I have a great wife, a home of my own, an interesting job, a decent income AND I still have the Internet to regress to when I feel like it.

Women are great motivators. Men are easy prey.

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