Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Billy the Exterminator

You know you're the man o' the hoose when you've been summoned to the bathroom to evict the unwelcome house guest. Subject in question: a tiny baby lizard scampering about on the counter-top.

Eviction tool of choice: 1 x sheet of box tissue paper

Methodology: throw paper over lizard, quickly bundle it up for transportation out of the premises.

Rationale: avoid inadvertently applying excessive grip pressure on subject, causing potentially fatal squishing.

First attempt: FAILURE. Subject wriggles free from cellulose enclosure and suffers a long drop to the floor.

Unforeseen circumstance: URGENT! Subject Momo lurking unnoticed under the bathroom counter lashes out with a forepaw, effectively pinning Subject Baby Lizard underneath.

Remedial action: Use left hand to fend off Subject Momo and distract her from Subject Baby Lizard. Right hand  repeats capture procedure. Probably stunned by the fall and subsequent non-fatal squish, Subject Baby Lizard offers no further resistance.

Eviction procedure: SUCCESS! Eviction notice served and executed. Subject Baby Lizard transported to Front Door and released into common corridor where hopefully it will live out the rest of its life without making a return trip.

After Action Reflection: Odd that instead of feeling scared of Subject Baby Lizard, I was more afraid FOR it. With three cats in the house, few lizards get a second lease on life. This one was one of the lucky ones.

1 comment:

Elim said...

OMG I totally understand that 'afraid of squishing it' part. So tiny and soft. and...well, squishy.