Wednesday, October 10, 2012

NTUC (it's an anagram) fair price

Nice going, fellow netizens! We are Batman and Superman rolled into one, totally opening a can of whoop-ass on the bad guy (or in this case, gal) who dared to threaten humanity with a reprehensibly expletive-ridden racist Facebook status update. Social justice upheld, we can ride off back to our secret lairs to await the next crisis, ever vigilant against the evil forces that are forever looming over the good... and mostly helpless citizenry of Singapopolis.

It didn't matter that Amy Potty-mouth was having a bad day. It was inexcuseable that the happy noises of the people downstairs were disrupting her naptime, causing her to be extremely grouchy and anti-social. Her words were pure evil, rocking the foundations of our tremulously insecure society. And so we've made her pay the FairPrice: by uncovering her as a pariah against our fine society, we've put a once gainfully employed citizen on the unemployment line, which for her is going to stretch a very long way away from the service counter. She will never pay taxes in this town again. She won't even get to enjoy unemployment benefits, 'cos we don't provide any.

How we love to see the mighty fall in our society. There's no elation equal to the toppling the statue of Saddam Hussein, and any slightest provocation is an excuse to recapture the moment by enacting a little public humiliation on the perp before the burning at the stake. How we love to stick it to the privileged, to make them feel how we feel, suffer as we suffer. All it takes are a few ill-chosen words and we can apply the 'racist' brand, hit public enemy #1 with all the vitriol we can muster, and feel good about ourselves that when Rachel Prejudice dares to raise her head in our society, we watchdogs of Truth, Justice and Freedom will always be there to grind it back down with our heel. My friends, you are real heroes.

Let every update on Facebook henceforth reflect how happy we are; let us edit for political correctness, and scrub negative emotion from our posts. Singapopolis is a harmonious city, the envy of the world, and anyone who might suggest otherwise has clearly not bought into the doctrine and must therefore be expunged from existence. For a responsible citizen (or a friend) to simply reply to the perp's post pointing out that it was offensive and ask for an apology is simply inviting a debate on that which can not be debated.

Hence, our message is very simple: in our democratic society, everyone is entitled to freedom of speech... as long as they say what we want to hear. Say something different and your face will be all over the Hall of Justice, and the Hall of Justice will be all over your face. Capice?

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