Every time the beginning of the month rolls around, I play 'tag' with him whom I call the 'Chief Elf'. He's the guy who manages the car wash business in my residential parking lot. Yes, I get my car washed every weekday evening at a subscription rate of $40 per month.
Our mutual problem is collection. When I have money to pay Chief Elf, I can't find him. When my wallet is empty, he suddenly pops up from nowhere and I have to 'ahem' an excuse to delay payment... next time. For the record, my accounts are square with him to date, regardless of the monthly hits and misses.
Oh, so why don't I just pay his minion elves on his behalf? Because they're mostly invisible! But they're not figments of my imagination either. I have had occasional sightings of buckets and rags, and even more rarely accompanied by one or another elf in question. Nevertheless, every morning, M2 and his neighbouring cars are clean and relatively presentable.
How I get my car cleaned isn't the point of today's story. The point is that Chief Elf has found a way to solve the collection problem. He called my cell phone. Here's the thing: I. never. gave. him. my. number! How the HEdoublehockeysticks did he get my number? Who told on me? Was it Snowden? Hope Russia grants you asylum in Siberia if it was!