Hi! My name is Gary. I'm a snail. Some weeks ago, the nice lady of the house found me amongst some pandan leaves she took out of her refrigerator. I had gone into hibernation because of the cold, but she gave me a chance to thaw out -- and I did. She's kept me since in a plastic box on the kitchen counter and gives me lettuce to eat, which I love.
A couple of days ago, I sealed myself in my shell to sleep while my shell grew a new layer. Because the seal was white and I hadn't moved for two days, the stupid man who also lives here (God knows why) thought I had died. He told the lady of my "condition" and made her quite upset. However, she'd kept snails before and knew what I was going through.
This morning, when I awoke, the stupid man saw me and said, "it's a miracle!" The real miracle was that he was too lazy to throw me out with the trash when he thought I was dead. Dumbass.