It took a day to calm down enough and objectively assess what has happened. My costs are likely as follows: a permanent place on the D-list; at worst my pet project; at least a substantial amount of funding for it for the foreseeable future.
My gains: nothing.
I have however retained all my principles in refusing to compromise them to satisfy the one.
So comes my time of testing. At some point, those who hold fast to their beliefs will have everything taken away from them in order to prove if they will remain true or if they will capitulate and abandon them in the face of adversity.
And these are indeed hostile, adverse times. In stories like these, the victor is the one who fights to the end against the odds. But while in the midst of it all I can only see disaster.
The enemy is strong, the odds a thousand to one. Castle Black may have withstood the first attack, but there's more attackers that will assail the walls again tomorrow.
This is what I will face every day of my life now. There is no victory. Just to survive one more day is cause enough for celebration.