Monday, July 09, 2007

Now, this is looking like the height of terrorism paranoia:

JI turns to business to help fund activities
It is believed to be selling magazines, VCDs, fertiliser, bread and coffee
By Leslie Lopez, South-east Asia Correspondent

JAKARTA - REGIONAL terrorist group Jemaah Islamiah (JI) appears to have gone into business to help fund its activities.

Suspected JI-linked groups have been selling magazines, VCDs, industrial items such as fertiliser and even everyday goods such as bread and coffee, an investigation by The Straits Times showed.

These businesses operate mostly in Indonesia. (ST, July 9, 2007)

'Ey, brudder, come inside lah. Don’t shy. Going shopping for the wife, ah? You come to the right place, man! What? Ya, ya, we just open shop. Everything also we got.

Groceries? Ya, we got bread. White bread, no problem… it’s my pleasure to take out my knife and slice the head off for you first, wait ah… Oh, you want the long one, izzit? Ah, that one very good for roti bomb, I mean, roti John, right? Can, can.

And coffee? Don’t worry, I got the best kind! It’s so strong, it can keep you awake long enough for you to drive your car through an infidel checkpoint just to see some fireworks! A once-in-a-lifetime experience, guaranteed!

You want to see some of my special stocks? Behind that shelf are our more… ahem!… restricted magazines and VCDs. Everything you want to know about the art of stripping weapons and laying bare the secrets of how to be the bomb at parties, I got!

I also got the latest Playjihadist™ where the centerfold model is fully spread out in little bits and pieces all over a public road. She's so hot, she's still smokin' -- show you everything she’s got under her ski-mask, and more!

Oh, fertilizer for your garden, ah? I tell you what, this one I specially import from that kuching kurap little red dot neighbour in the north. Ya, they call it the Straits Times™ but you and I know it’s really compost, correct or not?

Wah, your shopping basket is quite full already. Come, let me total up for you… Hmm? Oh, haha, this is a picture of my uncle, Osama. Ya, he’s my favourite uncle because his bins are always laden with good things. In fact, I get most of my supplies from him! I'm doing my best to support him in his old age, lah.

Brudder, if you don’t mind me saying, ah, why you let your wife make you go shopping for her? You should be more of a man, man! Eh, I know a place where you can get all the virgins you want, who exist just to give you pleasure. Come, follow me into the Men’s Department. There’s this extinguished, I mean distinguished, vest I’d like you to try. Ya, of course! You can’t make a big impression unless you’re dressed to kill…'

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