"Somewhat of a participant" is because there is a little awkwardness when two families that profess different religions are united in marriage. Both religions make it a point to honour our parents and it is on this basis that mutual respect for both parties is facilitated. As a family member, there are certain ceremonial obligations that have to be performed in a traditional Chinese funeral. It helped that our funeral director had experience in these matters and was able to advise on what was necessary and what was could be waived for a potato-eater like me.
I didn't have to participate in the evening chanting services, so I sat with the other guests to listen and watch. Although the unfamiliar ritualistic vocalizations might have scared me as a child, I learned to appreciate the subtle harmonies and the complex, yet gentle percussive rhythms that combined to create a calming and peaceful effect on the emotions, and focus reflective, prayerful thoughts towards our dear departed.
My specific duties as son-in-law was to provide this flower and fruit basket as a token of my regard and esteem towards my father-in-law:
and also to sponsor the band that played before the last rites and accompanied our procession behind the hearse as we made our way to the cremation:
Papa, who so loved to travel is now on the ultimate trip. He will be missed.
