An epiphany about happiness

I've had an epiphany about happiness. Happiness is the uplifting of the spirit when we encounter something good that we didn't work for, or didn't deserve. Many of us spend most of our lives putting time and effort into our work, hoping that it will somehow translate to happiness -- like it's a payoff from an investment. But when we eventually get what we've worked for, it's in exchange for the time and energy we sacrificed for it. That's not happiness. That's just a fair transaction: what we expect to bring us joy is simply getting back what we had put in in the first place.

When I say 'didn't deserve' I don't mean that we had either stolen or committed a crime for it. Theft and committing crimes are themselves a kind of work too. The plotting, the scheming, the execution, but mostly the guilt and fear from taking a risk of being caught and punished (which last even after we're caught and punished) also take a significant toll on our time and energy. So while a successful crime may bring some satisfaction in a job well done, that still doesn't amount to happiness.

To find happiness, we should look beyond ourselves and the work that we task ourselves with. Happiness is in appreciating the colours of a stunning sunset, the joy of freedom in a soaring bird's call, the acceptance of friends and family who take us as we are, warts and quirks, and all. None of these come with any personal effort we've put in. They're not anything we deserve. They're out there for anyone to take in when we open our senses to what is already in the world, and from the gratitude for being able to perceive them.

Happiness isn't a reward. It's the understanding that we've been blessed enough to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell the blessings life offers us every day. Yes, we still have to work hard to pay our bills, yet happiness isn't for us to enjoy tomorrow when all our bills are paid. Happiness is available for us to enjoy now. All it takes is to look up, especially when all we want is to look down.

Who's an unhappy camper?

S'poreans show their unhappy side again, this time with their employment situation. That is, compared across the board against our South-East Asian counterparts, our employees are the most unhappy.

I wonder what we would see if we cross-reference our job happiness index against a corresponding survey on general income levels? My guess would be that S'poreans are educated, and have expectations of higher income and better job prospects that are set somewhat above realistic; whereas our neighbours are happy to have a job that puts food on the table for their families.

This observation is intended to be neither snarky nor mean. It's probably a human trait that when we have more we make ourselves unhappy by wanting even more; conversely when we have but a little, we are happy being grateful for that little.

We also seem to be looking at the wrong things to be happy about:

Singapore respondents felt that getting a new job (30 per cent), a higher salary (19 per cent), or receiving recognition from the company (9 per cent) would help increase their job happiness.

These perks offer immediate gratification. But they don't come around too often, and when they do, they usually also come with more work, more responsibilities, and more time spent in the office -- side-effects that make us more unhappy in the long run. We accept them anyway, in order to justify the happiness we feel from achieving these very temporary rewards.

We actually have a good problem. To be able to have and want more is a good thing. But it means that if we also want to be happy, all we need to do is realise that happiness is a choice we make for ourselves. Choose wisely!

An afterthought: perhaps the jobs of Management and Middle-management are inherently unhappy? Managers neither own the company nor do much of the actual production work, so they are sort of in-between, easily replaceable and sometimes even an obstacle to getting real work done. Who'd be happy in a job like that?