The "like/don't like" game

I played the "I like X, but I don't like Y" game in tutorial with x34. The idea is for the kids to take a turn each to guess the combination X and Y. By listening to the combinations randomly guessed at and my responses of "correct" and "wrong", the kids will eventually figure out the combination and get to torment those who have yet to cotton on.

But the guess of one smart Alec went, "I like to spoon, but I don't like to fork". So correct, but also sounds so wrong.

Ancient technology

Watched an episode of Ancient Aliens on History Channel. O_o

One of the interviewees was going on about how some form of extraterrestrial tech such as "sonic levitation" must have been an agent in the raising of humongous megaliths that are otherwise beyond modern ken as to how they got stacked one upon the other by our long-deceased ancestors.

Only today, apparently, are we just beginning to rediscover the technology that allows us the ability to harness sound waves. Nonsense. We've never lost that technology -- in fact we use it practically every day.

"Hey, you good-for-nothing idle bunch of low-life slackers! I want Block A stacked on Block B by this evening! I don't care how, just get it done... or else [fire and brimstone consequences]!!!"

Nothing to it, really.

You can't handle the truth

Why only now that the Northern neighbours have declared their distaste for LKY's "Hard Truths" nine months after publication? Because it's a bloody long book and they've only just finished reading it.

Irradiated

Japan is dumping radioactive water into the sea? I envision boatloads of comic-book fanboys crowding Japanese beaches, hoping to get bitten or stung by an irradiated sea-critter, thus gaining powers beyond the ken of mortal men.

Ooh, what's the number for the Japanese tourism agency?

My poor, starving child!

Kindergarten food concern
STI, Feb 1, 2011

I AM a parent of a child (congratulations on your contribution to our local population. You're still short of 1.1 children to reach the ideal replacement rate, however) studying at Radin Mas PAP Community Foundation kindergarten (can the activities at kindergarten actually be considered 'studying'? I remember the plasticine molding, the messing around with finger paints, the running around and terrorizing my fellow kindermates as my primary function in life back then. Can times really have changed so much?).

I thought schools in Singapore are trying to promote healthy eating (Ooh, a Bandwagon+Appeal to Authority combo attack! Nice one!), but my child's school serves mostly biscuits during snack time (aren't biscuits a legitimate form of snack food?). And each child is given about six pieces each time (Q-tip gets five every morning. Sounds fair to me).

Given the duration of four hours in school, how filling can the six biscuits be (spoiling his appetite for lunch is not a good idea, according to the Surgeon General)? If it is not biscuits, it would be a hotdog bun (but no hotdog? That's a violation of human rights!). Occasionally, they are given cake (Marie Antoinette would approve!).

A few parents checked with the teachers and the answer they were given (wait, what was the question?) was that the general election (GE) was coming (well, it is rather early in the year to expect Santa Claus). The room with a pantry and a stove has been locked up for some time because of the GE (we're a corruption-free society. We don't want our election officials helping themselves to kindergarten food while on duty, do we?), so they have not been able to cook macaroni, which is what the pupils got to eat at least once a week before (first, you complain that six biccies a day aren't enough; but you'd rather feed the kids macaroni once a week? Hmm... I suppose that would save some washing-up time).

I hope the relevant authorities will look into the healthy eating habits of pupils (or maybe they could improve campus security, what with all these parents trying to break into the kitchen looking for macaroni, and all).

Cecilia Teo (Ms)

Error not in banker's favour

Ooh, look! A guy gets beaten up because some people think he's a loan shark when he's actually a bank manager. Wait... there's a difference?

Why Cookie Monster is blue

Beware of 'bust-boosting' cookies

'B' is for 'boobies'
Dat's big enuff for me...! ¯

Gross misinterpretation

It may have been well and good for the lyricists of traditional Christmas carols to have used the language of their day. But what is a modern person supposed to interpret from verse 4 of "While shepherds watched..."?

"The heavenly Babe

You there shall find

To human view displayed

And meanly wrapped

In swathing bands

And in a manger laid

And in a manger laid."

Today, such lyrics would be deemed totally obscene and slapped with a Parental Advisory Warning label.

Cosmic recall

Cool! Cosmic rays may be the reason why so many Toyota vehicles have been recalled recently. But we won't know for sure until they suddenly become rubbery and stretchable, or spontaneously combust, or develop a rocky, orange epidermal layer, or if the warranty goes completely invisible. Looks like Toyota might have inadvertently discovered how to create the world's first fantasticar! Is it powered by Hybrid System? ("Of course!")

Pole position

This FT debate is getting out of hand. This is surely the beginning of ethnic discrimination policies coming to pass. Look at this headline: "No poles for driving test". What? Anyone whose surname ends with _ski shouldn't drive, is that it?

We be travellin'

Yarr tharr, me hearties, an' welcome aboard! Here be ye bucket an' mop; I want me deck swabbed spotless by the time I be done entertainin' ye with me salty sea story. Ok, it be not much, really, but it'll take ye mind off ye sore back and knees fer a wee bit.

We be plannin' a little voyage, the woman and I. Right 'round the Christmas season, ay? We set course as we've always done. Covered up me good eye with me eyepatch an' put a dagger through the old sea chart. Arr... Chiang Mai. Exotic enough for ye, lad? Shut yer hole an' keep swabbin'.

So today we gathers up the last of our doubloons, to pay off our creditors (blood-suckin' scallywags, every last one of them, they be) an' spent -- nay -- invested the remainder on a seaworthy bark an' crew. We be hoistin' the Jolly Roger at the next high tide.

I'm done tellin' me tale, but what's this? Ye missed a spot, lad, ye missed a spot! Lily-livered landlubber, walkin' the plank's too good fer the likes of ye! Be off me deck before Davey Jones hisself comes a'callin' for ye scurvy rum-soaked soul!

In case you haven't figured it out, happy Talk Like a Pirate Day 2009!

Sign of confusion

Oh, dear. You can't even trust the cops, these days.
(TCM shop, Yishun)

Testing...

Hmm... this is one experiment worth trying out on the kids to see if the results are reproducible.

Edit 01:
But seriously, folks... we got a mention in "Discover" hailing what we've done to Pulau Semakau as one of "9 of Humanity's Greatest Environmental Successes"! Not bad!

Deja Vous

I feel like I've had several conversations like this one in my lifetime.

Darwin Award candidate

Something should be done about dangerous barriers

I WISH to highlight the dangerous crossing for pedestrians walking to Thomson Plaza from Jasmine Road.

There is a side road at Thomson Plaza, near the Starbucks outlet. It has four lanes, one for cars and taxis to enter, one for cars to exit the carpark, and two for trade vehicles to enter and exit the delivery area.

There are two barriers across the lanes for trade vehicles and a zebra crossing across the other two lanes. As the traffic there can be heavy, most people use the zebra crossing. But one must negotiate the lanes for trade vehicles before reaching the crossing.

Recently, as I was walking to Thomson Plaza, I decided to go through the lanes for trade vehicles to get to the zebra crossing. One barrier was down while the other was up. It was about 1pm and there were no security guards stationed there. As I walked between the two barriers, one came down and hit my head.

I stumbled into Thomson Plaza for help and sought medical attention at a clinic. The doctor who attended to me told me that she too had been hit by the barrier, but that her umbrella had shielded her from the blow.

I wrote to the mall's management on Dec 21, five days after the accident, to ask them to rectify the problem. I have not received a reply.

Clarice Tan (Mrs)

(STI online Forum, 2 February 2009)

-------------------

Madam

The injury to your head must have been quite serious for you to be raising via the local dailies this oversight of due diligence. One possible countermeasure to prevent a repeat occurrence of this eventuality is to avoid walking under raised barriers altogether. This simple and basic precaution has saved thousands of heads from similar Blunt Force Trauma attempts committed by such wayward barriers as you have had the misfortune to encounter, and millions of dollars in medical fees thereafter.

You raise a legitimate concern regarding the lack of security guards stationed at the barriers. The emergence of sensor-equipped automatic barriers has completely eradicated the need for a manual labourer to perform this operation, forcing yet another uncle to undergo retraining in order to find alternative employment. Perhaps you'll be good enough and employ one to hold an umbrella above your head while you go strolling to the mall from now on?

Nevertheless, we must make allowances for some people who insist on swimming in the crocodile pond even after seeing the lifeguard on duty being devoured. To them, we present an award for thinning the gene pool, hence making the future safer for our descendants.

All quiet in the Tower

Three Titans are all that remain from the previous battle. But now Starfire has left Earth to patrol the intergalactic pathways around her home planet, Tamaran. Raven has grown much since, and is now the guardian of the extradimensional planes. Cyborg, the sole Titan still based in Jump City has his hands full with the never-ending chaos of a city fraught with imperiled citizens at every corner.

Titans Tower is often quiet now, but Cyborg is grateful that Raven still checks in on him and the mortal realm every so often. With so much going on, Jump City needs to rebuild a new team of heroes... and quickly. Could Poison Ivy be a likely candidate?

Another possible plotline for the non-existant Season Six of the Teen Titans animated series.

Christmas. Wet. Dream.

I'm dreaming of a wet Christmas

Just like the ones in Singapore.

Where umbrellas mushroom

and thunder goes, "boom,"

As the Mon-soon visits us once more

I'm dreaming of a wet Christmas

With every pressie that I buy

May our dollar maintain as high

Though the forecasts say it's gonna fry.

(with apologies to Irving Berlin)

Things that make my wife scream

I dunno, turning the living room TV into a 42" PC monitor just might be one of them!

Die, monkey, die!

I've been holding this back, waiting for just the right time. And that time is now! To celebrate one big monkey off my back, let's all sing the "Hut Sut" Song!

Another applicaton of CERN's atom smasher

CERN scientists must be happy 'cos they have a new pickup line: "Wanna check out my Large Hard-on Collider? It'll give you a Big Bang like you've never had before!"

I tried to work in something about a "black hole" somewhere, but it just sounded rude.

Feel free to add on if you want.