Wrap. Print. Party!

A production still from last week's shoot. Here we see Weng briefing his talent about the coffee mug scene. Coffee looks pretty strong in this photo.

At the wrap party tonight, Weng debuted his rough cut for the entire cast and crew. I must say, although the raw footage didn't look like much, after editing and with the inclusion of the mood-setting background music the final product looked very good indeed.

Most importantly, the client was pleased as Punch with it. Said he had plans to air the final copy around the region. He can't wait to see how the regional offices will react to it.

As for my role, I had a single line of dialogue and a shot of my very talented left arm holding the coffee mug. Yes, that one in the picture.

Teachers' Day dinner interruptions

Usually at Teachers' Day dinner, our objective of enjoying our meal counters the MCs' objective of interrupting our enjoyment with silly games and activities to "enliven" the evening. At tonight's dinner, the role of the latter fell to me, Fen, YF and iLine, to deliver a programme based on the theme of the Oscars.

To be honest, we weren't all that prepared for the task even though we'd agreed to it months ago. The scripting mostly comprised a flurry of hasty email back-and-forths based on a rough guideline of the programme and coordinating MC patter in English and Mandarin. We were still scripting lines right up to our sequence run -- I wouldn't call it a rehearsal 'cos we were only running lines and not working out movement, traffic patterns, transitions and technical coordination.

Adding to the nerve-wracking situation were the many dynamic changes in programe, including a formal toast by the VIPs that was not previously scheduled. And although the programme was going faster than expected we were instructed to hurry up even faster. We ended up saying goodbye to everybody before dessert! I think that was win-win for all of us. Heh.

But this is the job of the MC. It's not theatre where there's time to figure things out and plan for contingencies (and even then things still do screw up). For us MCs, we ran lines for the formal bits of programme -- it's the formal bits that are the most scary 'cos it's unseemly to mess up people's names and titles --and here, reading off cuecards became an absolute necessity for me. My runs without cuecards were disastrous.

But rehearsals apart, most of our air-time was ad lib, going with the flow and trying our best to converse coherently between Fen and myself in two separate languages. Oddly enough, I felt more relaxed with the ad libs than the formal bits. It was fun to run the games and introduce the performances 'cos then I could focus on what was necessary rather than fret over not getting it wrong.

Fen and I had a great table to retreat to in between stage appearances. Thanks for keeping food for us, encouraging us with chatter, playing our games, impromptu rehearsing the formal toast with me, and doing some behind-the-scenes running that was necessary to keep the programme flowing smoothly. My on-stage tribute to you guys was sincere, if inadvertently cut short by an over-enthu Fen.

MC'ing for a combined three schools needed more prep time. There were many niggling mechanical problems, gaffed lines, moments of awkward tongue-tiedness, nervous voices cracking, for a functional but unpolished product. Nevertheless, we had excellent tech support in Events Architects who improv'ed effortlessly with us yet were very understated and nearly invisible the whole time. Their presence covered up a lot of sins.

Overall, I think we did ok. Not great, but a serviceable job despite our nerves and inexperience. It helped a lot that the audience was as generous as it was.

And now, I'm going to take a whole weekend off. Zzzzz...

Criminals, all of you!

Whoever designed the survey for Ipos may have arranged it such that our local intellectual property watchdog got only the feedback it wanted to hear. TNP summarises:

"IN THE real world, almost all of the 100 Singaporeans polled by The New Paper believe that stealing goodies from a store is wrong.

But they feel it's okay to illegally download copyrighted material from the Internet. In another survey of 1,011 Singaporeans done by the Intellectual Property Office of Singapore (Ipos), released this April, about 44 per cent of Singaporeans think that illegal downloads of copyrighted material is not considered theft."

The more people appear to have unlightened views about respecting intellectual property, the more justification Ipos has for continuing its crusade. And the more reason it has to consider punitive measures, like the new 'three strikes' law, against these all these unrepentant criminal scumbags.

But take a look at the two survey questions given to the respondents:

1) Is it wrong to illegally download music, movies and shows?

40% of total said NO which shows how hardcore recalcitrant they are to willfully commit an illegal act.

If it's illegal, then of course it's wrong, hence 60% said YES. But the answer might have been more interesting if the question had been, "Is it wrong to download music, movies and shows?" Chances are, remove the word "illegal" and 100% will say NO. And since they aren't admitting to committing an illegal act, 100% of them won't think they are criminals.

2) Is it wrong to buy pirated CDs, VCDs and DVDs?

Only 26% of total said NO, which means most people DO think buying such stuff is wrong.

Of course buying pirated CDs, VCDs, and DVDs is wrong. Why waste money on pirated goods when you can download the same thing for free (see Q1)? Duh!

Ipos needs better, less confused, less ambiguous data if it really wants to act in the best interests of society. As it is, they see criminals everywhere, though the people don't quite see themselves as such. Getting all litigious isn't the solution. Enforcement doesn't make a law right, not if the people aren't convinced it is in the first place.

The industry's next leap forward

For the week I'm having, I suppose this is a good reminder why. Presenting our industry's new 'mantra' that'll take us into the 2010s: Lead. Care. Inspire. Not sure why the first word refers to a toxic heavy metal, but we'll do our best.

Bolts of intellect

I suggested before that we human beings take pride in the athletic successes of world record breakers like Usain Bolt because we take them as proxies of ourselves and our own achievements. Boris Johnson, writing for the Telegraph, goes a step further suggesting that Bolt's achievements could be an indication that we are continuing to improve: "faster, higher, stronger," and because each successive 'A' Level reaps an ever increasing harvest of 'A' grades, he asks, "why not cleverer," too?

At the heart of this debate is the issue of grade inflation, and the dumbing down of the curriculum which his critics lambast him for. It's not that Johnson ignores this possibility -- he readily admits to it himself -- but he offers a more optimistic position than his critics can stomach.

In exam-crazy Singapore, our 'A' Level curriculum in math and the sciences makes my own head swim. As it is, our primary school math already makes me stare and blink blankly at the questions the little tykes have to work out. The 'A' Level timetable is a marathon sprint event, the kids being swamped with so much of revision, homework, tutorials, remedials, consultations, it's no fun being a JC student any more. Academic rigor we have... almost to the point of mortis, if you ask the kids themselves.

But curriculum and exam results don't impress me. They're a poor indication of intelligence, biased as they are to a particular kind of left-brainedness. If I were taking my 'A's in JC today, I'd probably be curled up in the corner of a darkened room awaiting my next sedative shot by the time I got to my prelims. It's the fact that our kids actually survive the stress we put them through and are still able to move on towards their next step in life that I respect about this generation.

I'd like to think our kids are getting smarter, at least for for the simple reason that more kids than ever are getting access to an education. Sure, they may not all be able to handle a chemistry paper set in the 60's like some of Johnson's respondents were suggesting, but that's because the kids taking their 'A' Levels in the 60's were truly the creme de la creme of their cohort, both intellectually capable as well as being able one way or another to finance their further studies.

Besides, the 60's generation didn't have access to electronic secondary memory systems (Google, Wiki...) they had no option but to store everything they learned within their own biological primary memory. In that capacity, they were limited to only what they had memorised regardless of how much that might have been. So perhaps they might have been smart in that sense but they could only deal with information stored within the realm of their own heads, and only if they kept updating it manually.

Public education made intellectual development available to pretty much everybody. That might have meant a bit of levelling out of the curriculum towards an average, certainly not as high-level as what it might have been before, but a drop from the top meant a raise in the smarts of everyone else.

And where Johnson's critics pooh pooh computing and the 'net, it's because they see these newfangled developments as inert, inanimate objects rather than the living network of streaming information that actually runs under the hood that our kids are tapping into. The only problems we're facing on this front is the immediacy of access due to the clumsiness of our current interface technology, and the literacy skill that we need to develop in our kids so they can navigate it.

When we figure out these speedbumps on the highway of digital intelligence, we can do away with our archaic biological memory based exams and set exams that are not just open-book but open-'net. They'll be answering exam questions through the usual Wiki and Google, but also through online forums, chats and other forms of interaction with real people (friends, strangers, idiots and experts alike) interactively and collaboratively. That'll be more realistic to the digital age. After all, what's the equivalent of an "exam condition" in the real world today? A power failure or system crash, I suppose, which doesn't happen too often to be a concern.

What if Bolt runs under 60's conditions, the critics posit? Would he still run 9.58 secs? The answer is, it's not the 1960's any more. Times have changed and we have changed with them. We have created the conditions under which running 100m in 9.58 secs is possible, and that is the story of human progress.

Are our kids smarter today? I don't know if we have got the conditions for intellectual Usain Bolts to exist just yet, but on the whole our kids know more and have access to even more useable information than their parents did and way more than their grandparents ever did. That's a good enough yardstick for me.

Back in the Democratic Republic

It seemed like fun to commit to a few little extra things outside of what I'm normally doing on campus. Ordinarily, I'd be fine with these little things, but why did they all have to coincide on the same week in the calendar? Now I'm back in the DRVBGA. Be so relieved when this week is over.

Corporate video shoot

It began with a call for my "expertise". Not actually having any, I still found myself in the midst of a video shoot in an office unit with a fantastic view of Marina Bay. This would have been the perfect location to view the NDP fireworks, I thought as I prepped for my scene.

The camera, lighting and sound crews were real pros, with Weng calling the shots. The shoot was for a well-known pharmaceutical company that wants some attention paid to a little-known physical condition: Over-active bladder (OAB) syndrome. Stop laughing.

I doubt this shoot would be the one to put my name up in lights and my face on the map. My role was to be a sympathetic buddy to the OAB sufferer and offer him coffee. Of course, that's the last thing he needs and so I get a pained but polite brush off. Throw in a couple of lines of dialogue, and that's my scene. Doubt I even get much face-time 'cos the camera is kinda' over my shoulder or ECU on the mug o' joe in my left hand.

The vid's not exactly for public consumption either, it's more like for a corporate presentation. So, no, not quitting my day job yet.

Overall, the shoot was brief, intense and professional. But it was nice to see Anthony and Wendy, Weng and Gwyn again, even if it was only briefly in the middle of a busy set.

Doctrine of equal misery

My experience with the Service was not a particularly pleasant one. It was arguably the lowest two-year point of my life. In the capacity I served, I had no identity, no autonomy, no society, and I saw myself as mere cannon-fodder and slave to all. My proudest accomplishment was being singled out to exhibit my latrine-cleaning prowess, though my admiring audience left behind a stampede of bootmarks all over my spotless floor while they inspected every pristine surface and nodded their approval.

But it was my Service to my nation, and if it saw fit to deploy me in such a manner, then that was my duty. So I protected what was mine and thus earned my Citizenship with a monkey-wrench in one hand and a toilet-brush in the other. The Service was a humbling experience for me, and I probably still bear some psychological scarring from those days, but unlike my fellow citizens writing in today's Forum pages I see no reason for our new citizens to share that experience with me.

It's with a misplaced sense of fairness and justice that today's letter writers are proposing some kind of equivalent Service for our new citizens. But insisting on equal misery is neither constructive nor effective for the purposes of national security. Military service isn't primarily for the purpose of making people unhappy (although that might be a consequence) but it is for the purpose of keeping our nation safe from the threat of external armed aggression.

Unless we're already under attack, a rational defence force isn't likely to stick a gun into the hands of just any turnip that fell off the turnip truck and give it instructions to guard the nation with its life. From a security standpoint, it isn't wise either to give a newbie citizen access to our sensitive sites and facilities, or give him much opportunity to rise in the ranks such that the top brass could possibly comprise of his fellow first gen newbies. Yet, if we don't give them these opportunities but still conscript them into our military, there'll be cries of discrimination, making everybody defensive and nervous around everyone else. Best wait a generation or two, when they've sunk in their roots deep, then they'll actually consider what's ours theirs too, and therefore worth defending.

Besides, the military isn't the only line of defence we have. Our defensive doctrine relies on five pillars working together: military, civil, economic, social and psychological defence, so in reality everyone contributes to our overall national defensive strategy. I'd rather let every citizen serve where they can contribute best. For the newbies, that's in the pillars of economic, social and psychological defence, maybe civil too. But to serve in the military we'd have to build some trust over a couple of generations before we let them wear the green No. 4.

And to the letter writers, you may yourselves have worn the green as your Service via military defence. But going public with your stinky attitudes is actually undermining at least two key but undervalued pillars: social and psychological defence by your petty, unfriendly, jealous, shortsighted, us vs them mentality. Sure, you've served the military, but your Service counts for nothing if you do a Disservice to our overall defence strategy.

Steamy surprise

In commemoration of a certain special event that took place, oh, quite a few years ago, June and I had a little celebration at Jumbo@Dempsey. And this bad girl was the very highlight of the evening.

It would have been a sacrilege to sully her pristine purity with any kind of sauce: black pepper, chilli, or otherwise. Served plain, she's been steamed to perfection with just a dash of rice wine for flavour, on a bed of silky smooth steamed egg. She's Marilyn Monroe wearing her favourite nightwear, Chanel No 5. Gorgeousness, indeed.

Lookit the size of the claws on this magnificent crustacean! The claws were so big, they weren't cooked all the way through. The meat at the pointy tips were gelatinous and faintly translucent. Biting into them released the saltiness of brine that shocked the tongue. But I tell you, the texture of the meat was so smooth and tender that it was all down my gullet before I realised I was eating unintentional crab sashimi.

I may have had a couple of runs to the bathroom since then. Coincidence? Probably not, but even if it was, for a crab like this, it was certainly worth it.

Must also sincerely appreciate the good folk on campus, Amy, B-lo, HP, Jojo and Wayne for the most excellent surprise gift of... yummy options that I know exactly what to do with -- before the year is over. Why so long? There's a matter of appeasing my conscience first before I act, and that could take a little while. Meantime, many thanks, my friends, for commemorating the occasion with me too!

Converting the heathen

Considering my own religious background, I really shouldn't be discussing this. There's been quite some unhappiness over the enthusiasm of my fellow believers in making converts out of the heathen. Up to a point, even I get uneasy about this practice because it just comes across as hard-sell. And it's easy to see how that enthusiasm can rub people the wrong way, living as we are in a society that values religious plurality.

If we don't proselytise, we're told we're not doing our part in the great harvest that our supreme authority wants us to bring in while we still can. So being able to proselytize is an integral part of the belief we have the freedom to enshrine in this society. But I also believe that my freedom to swing my arms ends where your nose begins. And this is the balance we have to accept, living in this society of ours, where everyone else's beliefs are equally accepted and respected.

Because of our religious freedom in this society, no one is about to curtail our freedom to express our beliefs, even the ones entailing making converts. But no one asked us to be obnoxious and offensive in exercising those rights either. Perhaps it may be beyond my limited wisdom that there is indeed a place among us for our full-time walking religious billboards with their fervent deathbed-stalking-fanaticism (they do have the best of intentions, really), but I don't think we need to pursue proselytising so aggressively. All the time.

If we truly lived up to the ideals espoused by our beliefs, people will see in us something of the divinity that we purport to represent. When we walk the walk, people with the, um... more existential questions will have the confidence that we can also talk the talk, so we don't have to accost random people, they'll come to us instead. I may be being somewhat judgemental, but that's how real, effective proselytisation takes place.

Sure, easy to say. Have I done anything of the sort yet? Er, as far as I can tell, no. Then again, what do you expect from the family's black sheep? Baaa...!

Noone wants to see the back of a pickup

I'm not exactly sure why it is but private car drivers will absolutely avoid driving behind a pickup carrying a cargo load of people. It doesn't matter how many passengers there are, even a lone rider is enough to put a wide buffer between the back of the pickup and the car directly behind it.

I've seen cars frantically signalling (if they're polite) then switching lanes as quickly as humanly possible just to clear the rear of such offending vehicles. That's pretty dangerous road behaviour, and I don't quite understand the rationale behind this traffical bizarreness. But monkey see, monkey do, I've picked up this habit too and dance the ol' lane-change switcheroo as safely as I can. I can only speculate on the following possible reasons:

1) Pickups have a speed limit -- slow -- and no one wants to get stuck behind one of those things for long because we all have places to see, things to go and people to do. Three minutes ago.

2) The passengers are not secure in their seats, and at any time can get flung out back, denting the car immediately following.

3) No one wants to make eye contact with a hoarde of tough-looking manual workers 'cos no one wants to see them for the people they are, but are happier to just let them work behind the scenes, out of sight, out of mind.

There's nothing we can do about 1) and 3), but at least for 2) there are going to be new safety regulations regarding their personal security being transported in pickups, so no more fling-dings to worry about any longer.

Oh, wait. There IS something we can do about 1) and 3)! The Traffic Act should make it compulsory that the only passengers allowed to be transported by pickup are babes in bikinis. That way, every male driver will absolutely want to plant himself behind a pickup, and that might bring the overall highway speed down to safer levels.

Over the mountain, not over the hill

A couple of the ladies from our local Everest climbing team, Joanne and Yi Hui, dropped by on campus to deliver a motivational talk. It was an easy going session with a pair of very ordinary gals-next-door who have done some very extraordinary things.

Their message is typical of many Singaporean success stories. Dream big; learn from the best; plan everything knowing that sh*t happens anyway; take small progressive steps training like mad; be persistent in asking for financial and moral support; be open about the scary stuff; go it alone but as a team; set realistic goals; get the job done; be humble about the accomplishment; give motivational talks and write a book about the adventure. More or less in that order.

Nice girls with a story to tell their grandchildren.

Back to God

Attended my first burial service. It was a plot at CCK Lawn Cemetery on which there is no room to stand around, other than on top of the plots of the other previously depated. A couple of hymns, a short message by the Pastor -- just long enough to allow the mechanical excavator to complete filling up the hole -- and a prayer of blessing for the family.

We lingered just a little longer for a little chitchat and for the immediate family to shoot some commemorative pix. Then as a group, we turned to walk towards our cars, leaving one of our own behind, beneath the peaceful, sombre, silent lawn, returning the body back into the hands of God.

The bravest of us

Yesterday, a kid in tutorial asked me if I had to choose between brain and body, what would my choice be? I shot back quite arrogantly that I already had both so I didn't have to make the choice. Well, it was an impertinent question meant to disrupt the session, and sometimes my mouth shoots off faster than I can control it.

Not too long after, Dad texted me about the passing of my eldest cousin. Tshoong was indeed someone who didn't have the choice between brain and body. At some point earlier in life, he developed a condition that atrophied his muscles so badly that he lost all motor-control over his whole body. Whatever was happening in his brain was firing off all the wrong impulses through his nerves, causing him to become a mass of twitches and tics that never abated.

I can imagine how frustrating that must have been for him. There was a perfectly good mind trapped in a ruined body. Even the simplest normal human function that we take for granted, for him he had to depend on other people for assistance.

It wasn't this condition that killed him in the end. He'd lived this way for many years already, anyway. The docs signed off that it was a heart condition with a diabetic complication that eventually took him.

Thinking back on the question if I would choose mind or body, I don't know if I would have the courage as Tshoong had to maintain his mind and intellectual faculties for as long as he did, even when he didn't have the body to carry it around in. And it's only now that he's still... and at peace at last.

This is my Facebook status update for today, preserved here because I wrote it with him in mind:

[Xmac...]

gathers with the clan. Black umbrellas and the rain.

Time to rest now, cuz.

Among his generation, he was the bravest of us all.

Yo, Joe: the technological arguments

Good stories often reflect philosophical debates. By that proposition, "GI Joe: ROC" has a decent story to tell. Here we have two antagonists, both equally well-armed with highly advanced technology. Both are out to establish order in the world: the Joes by maintaining the status quo, MARS (it's a pre-COBRA universe, hence the title) by changing the balance of power through force, intimidation and deceit. We know who the good guys are already.

ROC contemplates the use of technology:

MARS' tactical philosophy is to place technology within the individual soldier, effectively making each one a super-soldier but simultaneously eradicating morality and independent thought, and placing the army's total control in the hands of a single Commander. MARS troops are dedicated, dependable, unquestioningly loyal, but ultimately dispensible. They're basically no fun.

The Joes apply technology to the outside of the soldier, encasing him in an Iron-Man like armoured suit that also effectively turns him into a super-soldier, but with a crucial difference. The soldier can take off the suit and become human again. The Joes' humanity comes through in situations requiring moral decisions (apart from the ones that involve consideration for trash-the-place, make-things-go-boom 'cos that's the default option); but also in the expression of emotion (a small issue for Scarlett); and in being committed to a cause by volunteering rather than coercion -- even if it means countermanding direct orders from Authority and/or risking personal sacrifice.

Despite ROC being quite the Saturday morning cartoon-inspired CGI thrill-fest, I got a better story our if it than I had expected (I have very little hope left in this Summer's releases). ROC clung tenaciously to one consistent through-line: the application of technology can only solve the immediate problem at hand, so can we put technology aside in order to make the really human decisions that count for the longer term?

Pickin' my brain

Been spending the past few weeks since term began living inside my own head. It was a necessary condition in order for me to deconstruct my thought processes and bare the dissected bits of my mind for all the kids to see.

Partially that's because Amy, Sha and I are responsible for the GP lectures this term and we're using our air time to fine-tune the kids' abilities in approaching essay questions with intelligence, scope and logic. It's also because Liz, Jojo and I are organizing the 'enrichment' programme this term that I felt we really needed to examine our own fundamental literacy skills, breaking them down into tiny sequential bite-size pieces so that the kids can see an order and a process at work when they think through possible approaches to their essays and comprehension papers.

I've been examining my own hare-brain as a model for identifying the system I use to improvise answers to essay questions. It's something I do that I take for granted as instinctive, but I've been quite surprised to realise that I do actually have a systematic approach after all. It's just never been articulated and spelled out so precisely before.

Likewise, in terms of the comprehension paper -- which I think is quite an archaic artifact from the Dark Ages -- I discovered (again from improvising in class) that there is some sense to it after all. The main lesson to learn from the compre exercise is not how to answer the questions per se, but rather to ask the right questions as a means of accessing inaccessible texts and thinking critically through them.

I know I haven't been specific at all about what I've discovered about my processes, and what I've been instructing the kids in based on my findings. I'd like to divulge more details but I should observe the kids' performance over the next couple of weeks first to see if using my newly developed methods will really help them improve. It could be disappointing to count my chix before they're hatched, so I won't just yet.

But what I have observed lately has been encouraging. I had some good discussions with some very interested kids today, and there's some demand for me to further elaborate on what I've developed so far too. That tells me the kids see some potential in it, and perhaps some hope as well.

Well, hope it does them some good, and I'll share more if it does.

Need help sleeping?

"You'll be amazed" got repeated a number of times by a speaker who couldn't stop being amazed at today's industry conference on the New Media. I'd already attended a presentation by the classification guys in their HQ a couple of months back, so his information about how we classify the media here isn't exactly new.

What amazed me was that the people in the audience kept harping on issues relating to the quality of our local media content (which they felt was basically trash) whereas the topic of discussion was more like media regulation. It became a complaints session rather than the enlightened discussion that I was hoping for. Then again, an engaging dialogue no matter how trivial is always more entertaining than blinking in silence, and it was fun to watch our speaker squirm at the unexpected turn of our questions.

What else is amazing is this NYT report that people with insomnia are seeking help online, such as through the imaginatively named SHUTi 9-week programme, and other sleep restriction methods. There's even online "cognitive behaviourial therapy", and some programmes might cost US$20-30 when they become commercialized.

Psst, I offer a very similar online service to all insomniacs -- for free with instant results. Just read my blog.

Saving the world

I wonder if there's any merit to this OSU study regarding the impact human populations have on the environment? It seems like a no-brainer, but if we accept that mass human activity is the primary cause of climate change, it should stand to reason that the human population has exceeded the planet's capacity to provide resources to sustain all of us.

Solution: reduce the number of people back to a more manageable level and the planet would be able to start healing itself again.

Of course, it would be rather impractical to just machine-gun down all the unnecessary people in the world. That would be an environmental disaster all by itself, 'cos, like how are we going to dispose of so many bodies responsibly? Burial on that scale is sure to cause further deforestation 'cos nobody wants a mass grave in their backyard; cremation is out of the question 'cos we're trying to reduce our carbon footprint, not create a whole new cloud of CO2 and soot to choke up our atmosphere any more than we have already.

So, fine, we have to let everyone who's alive right now continue to live, but have fewer babies. The study projects that "in the United States, the carbon legacy and greenhouse gas impact of an extra child is almost 20 times more important than some of the other environmentally sensitive practices people might employ their entire lives – things like driving a high mileage car, recycling, or using energy-efficient appliances and light bulbs."

By this reasoning, I could defend my right to not have kids, live like a pig and still feel good that I'm saving the world, one carbon atom at a time. Yes.

The Parade that tried too hard

I guess I had to be there at the Parade to appreciate the spectacle, but watching it over TV (even in HD) wasn't quite as stirring. Cringeworthy, a couple of bits were even.

Some very sheltered people may have had their objections to the couple of girls dancing on poles during the Parade but for all the bluster, this storm in a B-cup only got two seconds worth of air-time overall. I thought the entertainment prior to the President's arrival was in far worse taste.

I don't know if anyone else felt the same, but I was especially put off by the Mark Lee and Suhaimi skit for the schoolboy standard of narrative in their retelling of the apocryphal Sang Nila Utama legend. Fine. "Heartland" humour if you want to call it that, but if our neighbours immediately South of us want to kick up a fuss, they can legitimately do so for the "insensitive" and "insulting" remarks the two clowns made about them. Lighten the mood, by all means, but try not to start a diplomatic incident at the same time. Please. They might send more haze over here in retaliation.

Immediately following was another eyeball-rolling narration, this time thumbing our noses with impunity at the very real threat of terrorism. They made it look so easy: snip a wire (think it was the red one) to defuse a "bomb", then chase around some hooded assassins on boats until they run out of fuel and give up. That's how we deal with terrorism over here. Right. On the one hand, it was purely national propaganda, on the other we're "just asking for it", tempting fate like that.

The remainder of the Parade went on as it does every year without much further hoop-la. National songs and formation dancing shoehorned into some theme or other, climaxing in a shower of fireworks that always mitigates the direness that had gone on before.

I like a birthday party as much as any other little kid, but hiring Bozo the Clown to provide the entertainment doesn't always work. Sometimes he just gets abused and kicked in the groin for his efforts. And maybe I'm being a party-pooper 'cos I didn't get my invite this year. Boo.

Up for a breath of fresh air

Disney-Pixar's "Up" has shot straight to the top of my list of fave movies for Summer 2009. It was funny, it moved me to tears, it was fantastic dreams and painful reality, all sensitively packaged together with absolutely spot-on timing, along with a palatte of colours that so aptly matched the different moods depicted in this animated treasure.

To say any more would be spoiling it for anyone who hasn't watched it yet. Just go and get the high of the season. :)

Not so jolly buccaneers

PM Lee's ND message comes in two parts: we have tough times ahead, though we have been weathering well so far; and it's been our ability to hang together as one crew that things haven't been as bad as they might have been.

Tough times and rough seas are nothing we can control. They happen and will continue to happen the way weather does. I'm a bit worried about our crew though, because there still exists a mutinous element that think they can handle our ship on their own without realizing that in order to survive our ship is getting bigger, and as such we need a big enough crew to man every post. There simply isn't enough of us to homegrow our own crew, so we have to take on crew from all ports of call, whomever believes in us and our adventures to lend us a hand.

The one thing we have to recognize is that we aren't a British battleship, with crew from scurvy deckswab to pantalooned Admiral all subjects of the Queen of England. We're a just little pirate ship looking to expand, and our crew comes from wherever, and whatever condition they come in.

"We did not start out as one people. Our forefathers were different peoples from different lands, who had come to Singapore to seek better lives for themselves and their children. But our formative years fighting for independence, then striving as a new nation to survive against the odds, brought us closer together. Each time we were challenged, we responded as one, everyone pulling together and working for the common good. And each success further cemented our cohesion, and helped us to meet the next challenge," says Cap'n Ah Loong. But some of our oldest and crustiest sailors on our decks are getting a tad resentful of the newcomers, and that's not really healthy for overall crew morale.

Among other things, they resent that many newcomers speaka no English. Odd that it's exactly the same complaint as that of the homegrown gripers on board the other bigger pirate ships, The US, Canada (well, maybe not so much) and Aussieland. It's even odder that I would say we only need to put in a little more effort to communicate rather than just give up and demand service in English at all cost. A little more patience and consideration from us will go a long way to encourage our newbie crew towards learning our tongue even as we strive to figure our theirs. That's the fun of living in a polyglot world, but many of our people simply don't have that kind of time to waste. Pity.

The other thing that this segment of homegrown crew have against the newbies is that the former feel somehow deprived of certain entitlements having to share the deck with the latter. Look at the comments that go with this Forum letter (trust me, the comments are way more interesting) to see how some people go all frothy at the mouth over this issue. But really, if we don't make the newbies feel welcome, they aren't likely to want to hang out with us for too long. They'll just take their share of the booty and bolt as fast as they can, and our recruitment problems will never abate. We resent them for coming, then we resent them for leaving. We're the unhappiest people on the Seven Seas.

Look. The asteroid has already hit us. The change in our climate is so drastic, so fundamental that our world has changed forever. We adapt and evolve with the times, and be small, nimble and omnivorous as our mammalian ancestors were; or be wiped out like the dinosaurs that couldn't accept the change. Or in local terms, the "true-blue" Singaporean is the one holding his breath until things go back to the way they were.

My birthday wish for my nation: Once and for all put aside our petty differences and prejudices, hoist the Jolly Roger, put the bow straight into the storm, and sally forth towards new adventures with a yo ho ho (and a hefty bottle of rum)!

Baba King rules the Expo

A face from the past reappeared. Seeing Phillip again takes me back to the dark days of the Service where we spent a few months in a mechanics' course on the the repair and maintainence of the AMX-13 armoured fighting vehicle, a WW2 relic even back then. Actually the days on course were the brighter days with more freedom, shorter hours and less responsibility. The remainder of my 2 years in Service were best passed over quickly.

Today Phillip runs Baba King. Don't underestimate the quality of the cuisine from the fast-food sounding name. Arby introduced the place to us as a must-try, hence the drive up to the Expo for a Peranakan lunch.

We had the usual babi pongteh and chix buah keluak, staples of Peranakan fare, cooked very tender and flavourful. The sides were quite intriguing: a traditional otah -- the kind where the fish is still intact rather than mulched up into a paste -- baked brinjal (eggplant) with lots of chilli sauce and a homemade black sauce concoction to take the purple edge off the taste, and where I find the taste of ngoh hiang (I have no translation for this... um, five-spice roll?) too overwhelming, this version is more subtle in flavour which I prefer. For dessert Arby recommended the pulot hitam served with a liberal spoonful of XO in the mix, but my history with alcohol has not been a happy one, so I opted for the gula melaka sago instead. Served with sprig of mint, the sago pudding finished light and refreshing.

Whomever Phillip is keeping in the kitchen has got to be a Nyonya treasure. Baba King is about authentic Peranakan food, and what we get here is quite a match for the food we had in Malacca, a.k.a. Nyonya Central.

Finally managed to squeeze a good lunch with friends out of this week. We picked a great place, and I found an old friend. Now I'm happy. :D

P.S. The silly BFC non-meeting in the morning did wonders for my spirits too. It was painful to watch President Tommy struggle through the food on his plate, but the company was good and I'm grateful for the break.

Projections, not prognostications

Attended a lecture by Peter Schwartz, author of Inevitable Surprises. His Wiki entry calls him a "futurist", and in fact his lecture was about examining today's trends and extrapolating from them how future scenarios might play out.

That was kinda' cool because part of our GP lectures next week will be about evaluating our preparations against future crises. Also because during this morning's heated discussions at our weekly level meeting, quite a number of similar or related themes came up and got debated over. Good to know we are keeping up with the times.

In summary, our biggest problem right now is climate change which we are no longer in a position to avert, we simply have to get used to the fact and adapt as best we can... and try not to make it any worse, while we're at it. And by not making it worse, fossil fuels will be priced out of anybody's reach because if not, global warming will make the planet unsustainable long before we run out of fossil fuels to burn. But current technology will help us keep our beloved cars running thanks to developments in hybrid, fuel-cell and electric drives. Until we find a better substitute, we'll be turning to nuclear energy, but with much smaller-scale reactors. Recent advances in biotechnology will prolong our life expectancy: those under 30 today have a good chance of undergoing anti-ageing treatments and be able to replace worn out body parts with new body parts grown from their own stem-cells, or bio-mechanical parts. They could live for a couple of centuries with this new direction medical technology is taking. Sadly, those of us past 30 today have screwed up our bodies too much already to fix, though we could still live up to 150 or thereabouts. That would mean SM Goh's estimate that we need to keep our workforce going till the retirement age of 75 is a slight underestimate. Because of our recalcitrance in reproducing ourselves and hence the greying population of post-centenarians who refuse to grow up, we have to expect lots of demographical movement as we continue to attract talent to pick up the slack (and here I think the faster we accept that as reality and quit whining over the so-called FT problem, the better it will be for all of us). The control of water will become a major issue and will probably be a flashpoint for major future conflicts. Another source of trouble are places in the world where there are large numbers of young males who for the lack of females to impress tend to violence instead. But I guess if they just focus on beating each other up and leave the rest of the world alone, they'll just be thinning out their numbers to a more manageable level. Come to that, I also suspect that the idea of getting 70 virgins in heaven after you die originally meant "in your dreams, buddy" or in Singlish, "tang ku-ku!", but somehow some people started to take the idea literally. So people will keep blowing themselves up, and that will be a factor in how the future will shape up, though apparently not a very big factor (Schwartz was a bit vague about this point). Meantime, China and India will become the strongest economies on earth, along with some of the other knowledge-based economies this side of the Greenwich Meridian, us included. Where we stay on the edge of the curve against the Chindian giant will be in pushing education and R&D, particularly in much needed areas like green tech, biotech and water purification, as well as serving as a model for effective social order and good governance that others can learn from. Two scenarios could play out in shaping our view of the near future: if the US can recover out of this economic crisis it would continue to be a major player influencing the world, although sharing power with China the way it once did with the Soviet Union. Or, if the US goes into decline because it cannot recover, then world politics will be dominated by China, and going by China's historical record of centralizing power supported by vassal states, that's not looking like too rosy a picture. So power relationships will be organized along the lines of institutions and rule-of-law if the US recovers, or by the Chinese concept of "guanxi" (interest and alliance) should China emerge as the sole superpower of the 21st century. While all this is going on, the people of the developing nations will be starting to get hooked on cheap to free Internet content -- basically free knowledge -- and by the power of Wiki and Google will slowly pull themselves up by their own bootstraps (heck, they'll pull themselves up by their own toenails if they had to) and slowly join the rest of us in the 21st century.

There, I think I got most of the lecture down here. Note that I didn't make a point to memorise all this info -- I didn't bother to write anything down until now, in review mode. But I did my readings before the lecture, I listened intently to the lecturer and matched new info with stuff I already knew (HP patiently bore the brunt of my frequent comments and other random utterances; we all need friends like her). Yeah, we were prepared to be bamboozled by brainy bombast but, to our great relief, we got a great lecture in good-humoured plain-speak instead.

Parenting styles over time

Teaching the kids to make quick comparisons between past and present society, especially for questions in the context of "today's world". Here's a look at how parenting trends have changed over time. Comments at the bottom of the article are interesting as well.

What do I remember of my teenage years? Strict discipline at home, but near complete freedom to go gallivanting outside the house without overt adult supervision. As long as I let the folks know where I was and when I was expecting to return home, I was pretty much on my own. In case you are wondering, I never abused the privilege. Trust was a precious commodity to earn and keep back in the day.

That's kinda' like what the article describes about parenting in the '50s. I'm not that old, of course, but maybe back then it took about 30 years for the parenting manuals of the '50s to get here where my folks could read and apply their wisdom on their beloved firstborn.

Life in the DRVBGA

The stress of deadlines must be getting to me. Here in the Democratic Republic of Very Busy Go Away, little behaviours I would never have noticed before are beginning to irk me. I'm getting sensitive to slights that I would otherwise have just laughed or shrugged off. This is not a good time to be socializing. There're too many tasks on the checklist for that right now. Like a bear with a sore head, I'm not very good company to keep, anyway.

Short live the DRVBGA!

No big loss

Because of the National Day weekend, this week promises to be a short one. But that means regular deadlines have also been shortened as a result, and this term I've found myself with quite a number of deadlines to meet. You do the math.

The sign on my desk on campus says, "Very Busy. Go Away." Doubt anyone will see much of me this week.

Reduced and abridged

How much fun can a dead English bard be? When the Reduced Shakespeare Company comes to town with their show, "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)"...

With that opening title, eyes tend to glaze over as certain memories play back akin to those of post-war trauma victims. That's how it is with most of us and Dead Bard. For some reason, he's compulsory reading on Liberal Arts English undergrad courses, and O horror, horror, horror! The pain! The pain... [wait, no. that was from "Lost in Space"]. We read words, words, words, and still couldn't for the life of us make out the matter from the art.

So why subject ourselves to The Works? Because whether you know Shakespeare or not, you'll split your sides laughing. Good to the Company's promise, we get all of Shakespeare's plays (sort of) AND all his sonnets (er... sort of) in under two hours. Just with all the unnecessary bits cut out.

The comedy isn't merely from the interpretation of the texts, but also from playing with genre, throwing in the occasional local reference, and messing about with fourth-wall stage conventions. That means the audience in the front row seats are often part of the hilarity, though at some point the whole audience gets to play a part in a scene as well.

In the end, it's not a big deal if you didn't like Billy Spears to begin with. If you like theatre, and if you can take two hours of gut-bustin' laughter, there's good enough reason to go catch The Works.

Stiff-necked

For a pain in the neck that just wouldn't go away all week, June made an appointment for me at Body Contours where she has a package. She signed me up for a 2 hour rub-down, concentrating on the neck and shoulders. Despite my protestations all week that I was actually all-right, I really needed the kneading -- even being kneed in the back during the treatment felt good.

I didn't quite catch the name of my massuese, but she had skillful hands, finding the right spots to put just enough pressure on without the hurt. It wasn't just hands on tissue, though. At times she went full weight with practically bone on bone contact... the point of her elbow rattling my ribcage, then turning the bones of her forearms into levers that hauled my neck into attitudes I'd never dare reach on my own. That went quite a ways towards making my spine happy again.

For an extra $28, she let me try out a ginseng-jojoba-sunflower oil which was supposed to improve blood circulation, do good things for the skin and some other unintelligible stuff. Conversation wasn't exactly scintillating, but that's just me. After marinading me thoroughly with the mixture, she sent me off to the steam room to double-boil for 15-20 minutes, and behold: Korean ginseng chicken soup, best served during the cold winter season. It was all I could do to refrain from taking a bite out of my own wing to see if I tasted as good as I smelled.

Though my neck was feeling better after the treatment, it's starting to hurt again. The problem must be more deeply-rooted than I thought. Darn pain in the neck... ow*

Meet the parents

Met worried parents to discuss their kids' mid-year results. Good to hear that apart from me, my colleagues from the other subjects were giving the same diagnosis: kids are working hard, and studying hard, but they are not using their content knowledge in the most effective manner. Question analysis is damnedly important, but it's a step they ignore in favour of just spilling their guts at the sight of a familiar question topic.

Sometimes, as in the case of GP, the more they study the worse the result. That's not to say study is not required, but breadth is more what we're looking for -- a little knowledge about many things -- rather than depth, that's what the other subjects are for. Too much depth knowledge and kids try to impress us with everything they've got... and forget that there's a question to answer.

It's like being on a battlefield. The less the ammo, the more care taken to make every shot count (I think Arby came up with this one). The trick here isn't to cut down content knowledge because that is the ammo. Rather, the kids have to be convinced that what they know is never anywhere close to a lot. Then they'll be a bit more circumspect in choosing the appropriate round to hit the right target. I hear Socrates turning in his grave already.

I wonder if it's an Asian thing, this memorize your way into the civil service study strategy? But parents today still think this kind of education is what will bring their kids eventual success. It seemed like news to them when we recommended a more inquiring, evaluative study approach over wholesale absorbtion. They got it when we explained it to them, hope their kids did too.

Alone in the dark

After the lecture, it's the duty of the lecturer to ensure that all electrical devices are powered down. That means being the last one out of the lecture theatre, sometimes in near pitch dark and aiming for a little square of sunlight in the distance that marks the exit.

I realise I'm no longer afraid of bumping into... metaphysical things in the dark. What I'm more afraid of is bumping into unseen physical objects that could cause unnecessary barking of the shin, or worse. Fortunately today, I made it to the door unscathed.

All the places between school and your bedroom

A quick preview of the visual treat I have in store for the kids tomorrow: Home, by Yann Arthus-Bertrand. Talk about shifting the camera to an overhead view, global scope! Lots of GP essays we could generate from this "Home" movie!

Grow big and strong

Best news I've heard all day is that milk and dairy products are indeed good for health. I survived TO by drinking lots of milk daily. Morning I had it with cereal, and through the rest of the day I kept myself hydrated with milk instead of water. These days, I don't drink so much milk any more, but on the odd occasion (like last week) when my teeth hurt, I head straight for the supermarket for a carton of milk and treat them old chompers to a fresh, new coat of calcium. It's a time-tested remedy.

All this might sound counter-intuitive to all you cholesterol-sensitive, lactose intolerant folk... but really, Milk. It does a body good.



This space paid for by the National Dairy Board. Not.

Report on Somali piracy

It's that time of year when the Year 1 kids are struggling with their Project reports. I'm not involved this year, but there's a good chance I will be next year. In preparation for that eventuality, I'll place a link in today's entry to a superb article in Wired that could serve as an example of a project that looks fun to research and present.

"Cutthroat Capitalism" is a report on piracy on the high seas, off the Somali coast. That's as current an issue as anything today. It's sensational, it's exciting and as it turns out, somewhat blown out of proportion. That's something this article attempts to do: cut through the media hype and show what exactly is going on there, through impartial interviews with both victims and pirates alike.

The report is also intriguingly multidisciplinary in the way it ties in current affairs with economics and mathematics, presenting a critical thinking approach from these different perspectives. There's even a little sociological glimpse at the heierarchical and organizational structure of the pirates, proving a method to their apparent madness (I ask you, a couple of speedboats attacking a tanker: sounds sane to you?).

Obviously, this report is by a professional outfit with probably lots of resources at its disposal, but it's the approach and the presentation quality, the flow of information and the strong sense of purpose throughout that I'd like my next year's kids to learn from.

Anyway, even for its own sake the report is fun to read, and the new insights it offers about the pirate situation is quite an eye opener, through a perspective we don't usually get from the local newspapers.

Sign of confusion

Oh, dear. You can't even trust the cops, these days.
(TCM shop, Yishun)

The cat menace

With reference to "Trapping and dumping strays and pets unbecoming in gracious Singapore " by Jeanne Nicole Chan (Ms):

You poor, misguided woman,
You assume that Singapore is "gracious" but that will never be so, as long as the stray cat menace that terrorises our neighbourhoods has not yet been put down. Rest assured, however, that the Great Leader of the Most Sterile Anti-Feline Movement, Der Fuhrer Tony Tan Tuan Khoon, is slowly but surely gathering the faithful and soon we will eradicate this threat once and for all.

Our Leader's plans for the Final Solution to the cat infestation will bring forth a glorious cat Holocaust from which this scourge to our society will never recover. On that day, and only then, will our nation finally achieve its true epoch, and we will see graciousness in all its abundance bless this land.

We believe this is what you and all Singaporeans are hoping for. Why not, instead of sitting back and bemoaning our society's lack of graciousness, join us in the active trapping and culling of stray cats and do your part in bringing back the graciousness you are so lamenting for? Together we can look forward to that Great Day, though our victory will be all the more sweet if, likewise, we toil as comrades together.

As long as we can keep the CO generators running, our Day will surely come. Have no fear, woman, cats will one day be just a vague memory, spoken of only to frighten little children who will not otherwise behave themselves.

Yours sincerely
Xmac2006
Under-minion to Der Fuhrer, Der Fuhrer's Office
MSAFM

Essay mill: Piracy or sharing?

The Essay Mill is back in yet another installment! Today we tackle the question...

It’s not piracy, it’s sharing! Discuss the validity of this argument in the context of the Internet.

A common concern today, considering how agencies like the RIAA are going to ridiculous extents to set an insane legal precedent to outlaw music downloading once and for all. I think if they succeed they'll kill the Internet. I hope for all our sakes -- so that you can continue to download, read and share my lousy essays -- that the more rational minds of American Justice will prevail.

Post mortem: Essay is too apologetic and too optimistic about the sanity of human beings and their behaviour in the marketplace to be convincing.

It's only logical

Improvising in class again. Put the kids through an arduous session of analyzing essay questions by grammatical structure. As the classes progressed, I discovered that analyzing grammar can help render essay questions as mathematical expressions! It's all logic, after all, right?

If anyone's curious, download a sample here. Erm... my math isn't too good, so some of these equations don't look too elegant. Some may not even work! Would appreciate some help refining the formulae... or at least check the math, if anyone can be bothered.

Knives and guns

Met a new set of surrogate kids. They've been sent to me because they've plateaued out at a particular grade in GP and we're trying to get them up to the next level.

Impression we have of them is that they have writing ability, but their content knowledge is... idealistic, and they tend not to plan out their essays despite constant reminders to.

Made the following analogy for them: not planning the essay is like bringing a knife to a gunfight. Knife and blade fighting can be beautiful to watch -- kung fu movies and Hollywood swashbucklers have turned it into an art form -- but unless the duelist is capable of finding an opening and taking full advantage of it, he's dead before the fight begins. That's because the essay question isn't dancing around with a blade. The question encapsulates a complete argument in just one short sentence, hence, it's a sniper's bullet aimed straight between the eyes.

The essayist has no time to make an aesthetic out of the answer. The sniper has to be taken out cooly and efficiently. That requires a bit of planning. And there, if the kids are looking for it, is the beauty of the GP essay.

Long time no see

Has it really been seven years since we took in JH and his friends to stay with us, and played tour guide for them all over the island? June had the whole thing all planned out then, the Duck Tour, the Night Safari, the Long Bar, whatever we could package in three days or so to keep them entertained.

And today, we met him again, this time alone and here on business. Went traditional with S'porean dinner fare -- chilli crab at Jumbo@Dempsey. This Jumbo isn't like the other Jumbos. The setup is almost Western: see-through kitchen, very attentive English-speaking staff, square rather than round tables, and we got to eat Pacific razor clam with cutlery. Quite atas, though the dignified ambience was still no deterrent against getting physical with the truly jumbo-sized crab that wound up on our table. And despite the atmosphere, the bill for three of us was surprisingly reasonable for what we ordered.

Next stop, PS Cafe, at which we made the mistake of ordering a dessert each rather than just sharing a couple among ourselves. We were already full from Jumbo, so the desserts were far more than we could handle. That's kind'a sad, 'cos I don't like the idea of leftovers, especially if it's ice-cream based.

We walked on another world

CNN should have asked me. I would have said that "Man's greatest achievement" was our first moon landing. Apollo 11 proved we could accomplish the impossible. We set foot on another world and came back to brag about it. Not sure what happened after that, but no one has made any effort to top that accomplishment since.

Hard to believe that that was exactly 40 years ago, today. Harder to believe that in theory I could have watched Armstrong and Aldrin's moonwalk 'live' on TV. I'm pretty sure we had an old black-and-white, and I know I was already watching TV at that age (I have the glasses to prove it), but I don't know if we could get a 'live' feed back then.

What I do remember of the Apollo 11 mission was several years later when I watched an amazing theatrical performance at which the solo performer faithfully recreated each shot of the televised mission using the exact voice transmissions and, get this... his fingers! That's right, his digits were the only things moving on stage, and through them this historical event came to life again. I don't remember whose hands they were, and I haven't been able to discover even a mention of the performance online. A pity, 'cos I'd really love to watch it a second and even third time.

Essay mill's on hold 'cos life just got really busy. But hey, 40 years ago, we touched the moon. What can't we do now?

"Prince" only half-blooded

For all the hype, HBP felt like just another installment in a tale that's been too long in the telling. The movie itself isn't bad. I like that the focus is character-driven, but since there are so many characters central to the plot, there isn't sufficient air-time to do them justice. There's enough to get the idea about what's going on with them, their conflicts and confusion, but not quite enough to empathise.

The fact is, I wasn't blown away like I was expecting to be. This installment felt like a set up, providing exposition for what (I'm hoping) will be a big finish. It was "Star Wars: ESB" all over again when at the end the first thought was, "is that all?" Even the big revelation at the end of HBP didn't warrant the title. I don't remember much from reading the book, but I'm pretty sure there was more to it than just a simple admission of identity.

There, see? The elitist comment was bound to show up sooner or later: the book was way better than the movie.

Not too many more summer movie releases left to look forward to. So far this year, I have yet to be impressed.

Essay mill: World records

Oh, wow! Another world record has been trashed. Throw confetti! Wear party hat! Ha. When was the last time we did that? We don't really seem to care much for new world records, do we? In this next essay, I'll be taking a look at world records and what they might mean to us.

I'm beginning to see how this kind of question can become a problem for essay writers. I'm barely getting warmed up, and I have to end it abruptly bcause I've already breached the 800 word limit.

Do you agree that the breaking of a world record is a significant event?

Post mortem: Could use more examples, almost exclusive focus on athletic records (there are other kinds of world records, y'know), gross overgeneralization, dubious evidence -- may be factually incorrect, some circumlocution.

Essay mill project

Welcome to my new personal project! It's an essay mill from which I churn out essays to lousy essay questions, and I already have a few doozies lined up. Obviously, these essays are going to be of no help to anyone taking any exam this or any other year. They're purely going to be for my own entertainment and self-indulgence, mainly to see what kind of nonsense arises out of badly-thought out questions. So here's the first of, I hope, many more to come:

How far would you agree that foreigners regard Singapore as "unique"?

Post mortem: A bit hyperbolic in places, naive in others. Some reasoning is contrived, and it generally reads like NE propaganda.

The facade falls

Don't like my new style. Makes me sound too morose. Might as well be Twittering if I want to write two lines at a time. Anyway, I'm embarking on a new personal project that should ensure lengthier entries for at least the next few days. Stay tuned.

Anyway, I'm not sure why I've been masquerading as a teacher for so long. The facade has never really fooled anyone, except maybe myself. Fact is, I can't see the reality that the kids are just 18 years old while I'm expecting them to perform like undergrads already. It takes other people to remind me to stop overestimating their capabilities and try to pitch material more at their level. But even up till now, I am still uncertain what an 18 year old is capable of. Obviously I don't know my audience well enough at all.

So I've decided today to acknowledge myself for what I truly am. I'm not a teacher. I am just a guy who has a silly habit of reading... um, whatever, and has recently acquired another habit of scribbling stuff, perhaps hoping that one day it might get good enough for someone to actually read it.

Coincidentally, I've been told that this quirk of mine is a skill (a skill?) that our young people need to acquire, so I'll just be sharing my idiosyncracies with them if they are willing to give me some of their attention -- and many of them are. And so long as someone is happy to pay me for my services, I'll be more than happy to keep on sharing.

Sounds like win-win to me.

Faux pas of the day

Put foot in mouth in class. Described petanque to them as "people throwing steel balls at other people's balls". Hilarity ensued.

Wannabe

In American Idol, I've never envied any of the contestants -- not even the eventual winners. Here today, gone tomorrow, them. It's Ryan Seacrest who I want to be.

Looking ahead

The number of abortions is about 30% of the total number of live births in S'pore last year. This does not bode well for my retirement.

Bad dreams

Couple of nights waking up from disturbing dreams. I remember one with me committing some horrific, unthinkable deeds while apparently playing through an uncomfortably realistic simulation; and another of being cast out of polite society due to some minor infraction on my part. The two dreams were not related, occurring on two different nights. But no further details to be spoken of here 'cos I'm not asking to be psychoanalyzed -- I'm a bit afraid of the diagnosis.

Well, it has been a rather stressful weekend.

Getting bigger

Went shopping for office pants. Waistband size increased by another inch. Sigh. Am now so close to Dad's size when he was my age.

Testing...

Hmm... this is one experiment worth trying out on the kids to see if the results are reproducible.

Edit 01:
But seriously, folks... we got a mention in "Discover" hailing what we've done to Pulau Semakau as one of "9 of Humanity's Greatest Environmental Successes"! Not bad!

Language and old age

If ever there was an incentive to develop "superior" language skills at a young age! This study of nuns' brains suggests that a strong command of language in one's teens and 20s tends to ward off the symptoms of dementia and Alzheimers' disease in old age. Read it for yourself here.

Should wave this at my kids if they ever ask why we're such grammar nazis grading their scripts. But with my kind of memory... er, what was I saying...?

Angry stomping people

Stomp (ST's purported "citizen journalism" site) fascinates me. Most of the so-called stories are little more than the tattletales of small-minded people ratting out on other people's petty misdemeanours in public -- with pictures. Yet it's a daily visit for me because the small-town gossip is just too compelling to pass up. It's almost a competition to see if the current story could possibly be any worse than the previous one.

There are few better examples of global village technology being used to perpetuate just the village. Everyone's minding everybody's else's business, airing everybody's dirty linen in public, expecting some authority or other to solve the problem for everyone. And then bemoaning how ineffectual the authorities are going about it. Tsk, tsk.

I'm not suggesting we should take the law into our own hands, enacting mob justice on every instance of loutish behaviour we encounter. I'm saying we should allow some flexibility in administering the written social rules rather than complain so loudly every time people are not slavishly adhering to them. It's quite vindictive, some of the entries, as if posted to spite someone else because the contributor isn't allowed to do the same thing.

Maybe it's all just in the eye of the beholder, 'cos on the rare occasions that I have used public transport (for example) I have yet to encounter any of that 'inconsiderate' behaviour that gets featured every day on Stomp ad nauseam. What I have encountered are clear pathways on escalators shared between walkers and non-walkers, or when there is a blockage, a polite "excuse me" more often than not has the effect of parting the Red Sea. In the trains, people are popping up and down like so many jacks-in-the-box offering their seats to people who vaguely look like they might appreciate the seat more. It's even a bit embarrassing how polite they try to be with the old and infirm, the pregnant and the child-laden.

If people eat and drink on the train, as long as they show some personal responsibility in clearing up after themselves, then there shouldn't be a problem. People are hungry, people are tired, but just because there are written rules doesn't mean we as fellow commuters cannot be more understanding and accommodating with each other.

I am now very cautious when taking the MRT. With all these camera-happy Stomp contributors around, I worry that one day my unflattering photo will appear on that infamous website with the complaint that some young whippersnapper should be giving his seat up to me instead of hogging it for himself and his $#%* ice-cream cone. I could never live that down.

Time out

Fergeddit. I'm taking the night off to play Bejeweled 2.

Not a(nother) model essay on Technology

How do I spend my Youth Day day off? By preparing material for a lecture answering the following essay question:

"Technology never provides solutions – it only poses more problems." What is your view?

What follows is NOT a 'model answer'. It's more like a coherent collection of ideas that the candidates might have included in their essays, but pitched at the level of a well-written H1 paper.

Again, to me it's just an outline for a much larger paper, since I've left many claims unsubstantiated, but even then it's still a hefty 1800+ words long. For one thing, it's a very general question, and for another I'm trying to incorporate as much subject material as I've gathered from all the essays I've been grading, so I've got a lot of mileage to cover.

Next step is to condense it to about half its size, and in a form a 17 year-old would be reasonably expected to present it in.

If you insist on reading the original, click here. But don't say I didn't warn you!

Just one thing

Quote of the day: "School teachers are concerned about creating moral people. [But] We focus more on getting the students better grades in a short amount of time. That's why we are needed and popular," says super-tutor Woo Hyeong-cheol. Woo's annual paycheque comes up to US$4 mil.

There's a bold mission statement if I ever saw one. So devoid of fluff and other distractions, the sharpness of focus makes her organizational systems and processes crystal clear, minimizing wastage of resources, maximizing output and income.

We've been discussing campus branding in our recent meetings. Too many people want too many conflicting things for our students. The more we talk, the more things get added on. What we really need is to pare down everything into one core objective that everyone can agree on and work towards.

Do we want our students to have values, or leadership, or world-readiness? We don't have time to give them everything. According to Ms US$4-mil-a-year Woo, students want results above all. If our kids just want results, they can go look for her. But we are a Ministry approved college, so I suggest we pick just one item from our existing list and run with it.

I won't arbitrarily make my choice now. I want to ask my alumni for input 'cos you probably see things quite differently from the Staff and I've already got lots of their input already. My question: what positive experience do you remember best from your days in JC? If I can detect a common thread, that's probably the best indication of how our branding should go.

In defence of the Arts

One question I'm currently grading has to do with how literature (and by extension, art) has no practical value. Have a look at the video below that YT shared with me:

Who says engineers have no aesthetic sense? Who says artists are technologically inept? Because our school system segregates Arts kids from Science kids by faculty and subject combination, this dichotomy causes them to pigeonhole themselves and they get proprietary over their intellectual turf.

Many of the essays I've read are by Arts kids vehemently defending literature as an essential, relevant but neglected part of our life experience, and hence must necessarily be "practical".

But watching this clip, I wonder if there is any need to make such a strong point about the "practicality" of art? Art doesn't have to be practical, but so what? Art is beautiful and that's all it needs to be.

Wonder if there'll be a Part 2?

Lunch party found our way to Little Part 1 cafe. Strange name. Not a lot of parking and seating, so car pooling was a smart thing to do. Also had to split tables, one for the working lunch people, the other for the fun lunch people.

Decor is cosy, homely. lots of framed snapshots on the wall, no theme I could discern. Two fell off the wall as we ate. Tremors? Free wifi! Great place to eat, grade papers and surf all afternoon.

The cafe's specialty is crepes. I had the Louisiana crepe. Attracted by the two different kinds of cheese fillings: emmental and mozza, though a bit leery about the asparagus. Ham is ham. Combination turned out to be quite pleasant. Could have done with an alternative flavour to the BBQ sauce on top -- tang was sharp, distracting. Fresh salad helped balance.

Brownie a la mode was fluffy and crumbled a lot. I appreciated the lightness 'cos I could eat the whole thing and not feel particularly guilty. Nevertheless, since mine was a communal table, I happily shared it with my fellow piranha.

Veggie items on the menu too. Know of any veggie people we could invite to lunch next time?

Slightly derailed

Been putting all my resources towards the one goal of finishing my assignment grading, and my rhythm's been thrown completely off because of it. Perhaps I've set myself an unrealistic deadline, but there are many other tasks needing my attention that I can't even look at until I get this giant bugbear off my back.

Unrealistic or not, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel already, which means my strategy has paid off! And the only casualty has been this long-neglected blog which I've unintentionally forgone because I've simply run out of steam by nightfall.

Very grateful for the lunch circle that has provided a much welcome break over the last couple of days. We don't get many chances to eat off campus these days, so yesterday's jaunt to Botak Jones, and today's extended "Land-Ex[pedition]" to Cafe Oliv and Chin Mee Chin (for kaya toast, a couple of doors down) were a real treat.

Should be back to regular posts soon, but perhaps in a new text format. Hearing a lot lately about the advantages of terse, to-the-point entries. Time to update my style.

Happy July First!

Been feeling inexplicably homesick. It's July and that means summer in TO. Bright, cloudless skies; sun on my face; cold, dry air I can breathe in with less effort than this humid soup we swim in all day here in the tropics. Wonderland, and the Jays at the SkyDome. Hot-off-the-cart Polish sausages with all the toppings you can balance between your buns (how rude that sounds!). And CHUM FM*, a constant companion that sets the mood just right for driving long distances on highways that have no end.

Without looking it up, I must have instinctively felt it in my bones. July 1, Canada Day!

*CHUM FM is a lot like Power 98 here, except I just heard a great ad for Trojan condoms, and the Internet radio works!

Raising a flap over nothing

Wayne and I had a minor disagreement over the supposed 'ethnicity' of Mudflap and Skids, the Autobot twins introduced in Transformers:ROTF. He thought they were Redneck, I had them pegged for ghetto gangstas.

When it comes to identifying accents, I have the advantage. What I didn't realise was that while my ears were good, a host of other critics had ears just as good -- and criticized both robot characters for being racially offensive.

Fine, both Wayne and I agree they are somewhat irritating. Our first impression of them is that of the Transformers' version of Jar Jar Binks. And they do set our teeth on edge with their childish antics. But to identify them as malicious "racist caricatures" is just reaching.

To be stereotyped suggests that people born into a particular ethnic group have no choice but to look, sound and behave like however the 'type' describes them to be. Autobots have a choice in the matter, though. They adopt their features and vocal patterns/dialects/patois from whatever and whomever they admire or wish to identify with.

And in a sense, that too is how the two voice actors decided to portray their characters. There's no agenda to offend anyone, it's just what works with the chemistry between co-performers as they interpret their scene.

Even if the twins are stereotypes, their portrayal is hardly negative. They talk big, but in a scrap they more than prove they can hold their own. They may be pintsized, but they are the first to inflict significant damage on the Decepticon behemoth, Devastator, before they get taken out of the fight themselves.

Sure, they admit they can't read the text of the Primes, but then none of the other Transformers on either side -- apart from old-timer, Jetfire -- can either. That criticism is like calling a layman who can't interpret ancient Sumerian cuniform 'illiterate'.

Anyway, I'm not about to overanalyze the whole thing. It just annoys me when critics get into this "Emperor's New Clothes" mode and echo each other because the angle is just too sensational to ignore.

Amidst all this criticism, I've decided to throw my support behind Mudflap and Skids. Dumb, self-righteous critic b*tches can take yo' wack s**t and shove it up yo' a** befo' I pop a cap in it. So there!

-----

And over the day's catch at Fish & Co, AMK Hub, we wished many happy returns to today's birthday girl. :)

Enough "me" time

It's been an odd sort of vacation, most of the time spent alone, like I've been quarantined with some infectious disease or something. So not a lot of motivation to go out and do a lot of stuff, like I'd been planning to before the start of the vacation.

Funny thing is, solitude is addictive. The more time I spend by myself, the more I'd rather not cross paths with anyone else, friend, neighbour or foe.

But that's quite enough of "me" time. I'm starting to lose my propensity for socializing and that's not really a good thing.

Fortunately, schools aren't staying closed for another week though some people are agitating that they should as an H1N1 precaution. Another week in self-imposed quarantine and I might not want to come out of my cave ever again.

Big staff meeting tomorrow. Best get my "social" self warmed up. The vacation ends here.

ROTF: Big, loud, long

I wonder if the enemies of the free world would pirate copies of Transformers:ROTF and watch it over and over again as a wish fulfillment fantasy. We're talking grand scale destruction of highways, buildings, a whole aircraft-carrier with full complement of squadrons and personnel, and ancient monuments going up in massive explosions that terrorists dream of while they snuggle under their bedclothes with teddy under their arm.

ROTF is big, is loud, is long... all the symptoms of sequel-itis. Transformers was a total thrill-fest, so the only way to up the ante is to add generous helpings of more. More military hardware, more combustion, more backstory, more locations, more cheesy romance (ok, maybe I'm jealous 'cos it's Megan Fox in question), more OTT laughs, and more characters than an F-16's threatboard could possibly keep track of.

So ROTF didn't get many good reviews. It's probably the law of diminishing returns at work. The first time may have been highly satisfactory but the second, with all the additional trimmings, is a bit too much.

One feature the critics can't seem to get over is how much running, ducking and covering our protagonists, Sam and Mikaela, have to do. Not very heroic, the critics seem to say. I think they've forgotten how their own game of (American) football, on which both Transformers movies are based, is played. Sam has the ball, everyone runs interference for him, clearing the path so that he can score the touchdown. Perhaps Sam is the new breed of action hero -- the running forward rather than the quarterback? Let's see if this archetype repeats itself in other action movies to come.

I went in for the Transformers Movie Marathon, so I watched both movies back-to-back. I noticed that a second viewing of Transformers allowed me to see things I hadn't seen before the first time, and I guess it'll be the same for ROTF as well. There's so much sensory input, it takes time for the mind to process it all. If anything, that's the main problem with ROTF. Leave brain at door, settle down confortably with free-flow popcorn and Coke, be shocked and awed by the systematic demolition of civilization, have fun! Why make things more complicated than that?

The Q-tip and the sea

A great day for the beach.

June wanted to drop in on a couple of friends working at a promo booth on Siloso Beach and we thought Q-tip would like an outing.

Dogs are not welcome on Siloso Beach though, so we took a very long trek to Tanjung Beach quite some distance away, part walking her and most of the time carrying her 'cos we remembered what happened the last time we let her overheat.

Q-tip had a good swim, that is, as soon as she hit water she'd frantically paddle back to terra firma. Then we'd pick her up, put her back into the water and repeat the process for a few cycles. Silly dog can swim, but she's afraid of the water. Funny, that.

More pix? Click here.

Bad things happen to good people

Sam Raimi goes back to his horror roots with "Drag Me To Hell". These days, the Raimi name may be better associated with the "Spider-Man" movie franchise, but with DMTH he reminds us that his original claim to fame was through the "Evil Dead" trilogy. Yes, even if "Army of Darkness" was more slapstick comedy than horror, it just shows his versatility in directing many different movie genres.

Anyway, DMTH brings us back to straightforward campy, shocky horror. Young, ambitious loan officer competing for a promotion turns down a loan extension for an old crone (there's always an old crone!) who curses her with a rather disproportional punishment: to be tormented by an evil spirit for three days, then be taken to hell to burn forever on the fourth day.

Cue two kinds of horror devices Raimi loves to play with. The first is rising tension followed by shock, the second is the horror of contact with vile fluid substances (blood, bile, slime and others of that nature) on the skin, face and otherwise inavertently ingested in large mouthfuls. We get both in generous portions throughout the movie.

But looking past the fun of shock after shock, revolting situation after revolting situation, there is an understated psychological parable at work here as well. Christine Brown is essentially a good person. She has a good nature, a kind heart, she is a woman in love; the sort of person that does not deserve any evil to befall her. But she makes one small mistake against her conscience, and no matter how good she has been up till then, no matter how she tries to make amends thereafter, it is still that one mistake that ends up defining her perception of the world. It is her own guilt that turns her otherwise idyllic life into hell.

Y'know, according to Christian doctrine, the scary thing is that all of us bear this exact same curse. Regardless of how good we are, or think we are, or try to be, because of our inherent imperfections, we are still destined towards, you know, the place downstairs. I believe DMTH makes up only one half of a good old-fashioned fire-and-brimstone sermon. The other half -- the redemption part -- has been left out.

Paid to stay in bed

Must be letting the notions of space travel get to me. Now I'm inspired to take up this job NASA's offering as a test subject for the effects of low gravity on the human being. It pays US$160/day and it involves lying in bed all day! Welcome to the life of a NASA "pillownaut".

Never did like camping much

Did some nephew-sitting while Ling and June took a girls' night out. The Wii played a big part in helping me out. How did we use to get by without such an invaluably useful device? Anyway, in preparation for that big event, I went shopping for a game or two that would keep two rambunctious young 'uns occupied. "Space Camp", anyone?

Good thing I previewed SC before I tried it out on them. First off, SC isn't exactly catered to my age preference (right, anyone who suggests "Parcheesi" gets their head bashed in with my walking stick!), but even putting myself in the mind of an 8 year-old the game would have bored me to tears. Actually, it's more like work than a game. Even the in-game mentor, Jim, admits at the start that it's going to take "back-breaking work" to complete the story.

Ah, the story: the player's somewhat customizeable character attends Space Camp and for the lack of other buttons to press accidentally launches him/herself to the moon. Survivability is no issue. The player has unlimited resources to complete a series of tasks in order to get home.

The main complication is that the two main resources, Energy and Metal, are locked into moon rocks which we have to mine for in pre-designated locations on the map. And they just keep replenishing -- well, yeah, it's a big moon for one little kid. With a flick of the wiimote or via a mini-Grabber game we accumulate a pile of moon rocks for processing. We can also kick piles of moon dust to find these resources too.

Step two is to process these rocks through another mini-game to extract either Energy or Metal from them. Energy converts into rocket fuel for which we need to get home; Metal we need to fabricate into tools that help us open doors to new places for exploration as the game progresses. They also help to open locked containers of unique collectible items that fill up our inventory, which I think is intended as the reward system of the game.

Yes, completist that I am, I most anally hunted down every single collectible comprising unique SC patches, and various designs and colours of clothing and headgear the well-dressed astronaut should be wearing on a moon-jaunt.

Wii games are often a collection of mini-games, but in this case, they tend to be the same three or four mini-games over and over again. the only discernable variation is in the three difficulty levels which aren't all that difficult even for an 8 year old. The only one that drove me insane was the Meteoroid defense game at the highest difficulty level -- my reflexes aren't what they used to be -- so accomplishing that task was quite a triumph (stop sniggering, remember my walking stick?).

The nephews didn't get to play SC after all, 'cos I decided they wouldn't have found it any fun. They're the "Ravin' Rabbids" sort, and that kept them entertained all night. Hey, whoever said an evening with me had to be educational?

It's alive!

So, that's why Rhumba didn't make it back to his docking bay before his charge ran out. Greedy thing was helping himself to the cats' kibble!

Another day with dad

Got the news of the passing of Sha's dad. It wasn't unexpected -- we knew he was already on his last legs -- but when it actually happened, the swiftness of it was sudden and shocking.

Which is why today, I appreciated the time I spent with my own dad. June and I met him at service and with the rest of our family regulars at 1115 SAC, we went to lunch as a group. This isn't something we do every week. Our service timings are different but because mom is curently gallivanting in the UK we thought he might appreciate the ride home... and our company, of course.

Among the reminicences we always get to hear whenever family gets together was how my dad quit smoking. Daughters are indeed a formidable influence on their father's behaviour.