Old faithful

Having computer trouble again. My primary desktop PC became increasingly unbootable and for two days now I've been running between home and the shop. Bought a new power supply thinking it would fix the problem, but it just got worse. Today the service guy decided it was the mainboard that was giving trouble. The good news: the warranty is still valid. The bad news: it will take weeks of hospitalization to get the necessary parts switched out.

So my old faithful stand-by PC has now been pressed out of retirement to serve me once again. Spent much of the day updating software (though that's pretty much it for Win XP support). It runs like an old man: slow, clunky, even video playback is juddery... but it works!

Unfortunately, PC gaming is completely stalled for now; but maybe now I'll have more time for my dog. Walkies, girl?

Reset

Ok, stop. Enough emo-ing and grow up. Thank you.

No martyr

So, someone lost their job over their beliefs. If he had so many problems with his CPF, I guess now that he isn't getting it any more he's got a lot less to worry about. Anyway, I'm sure he could just as easily crowdfund his monthly maintenance from now on. Lots of disgruntled S'poreans would gladly continue funding a martyr for their cause.

I'm no martyr, however. I'm not about to die for my beliefs, but would rather live for them. If they want me to roll over, sink into depression and fade out of sight, I'm sorry to disappoint them. I'm coming back swinging.

The Battle for Castle Black

It took a day to calm down enough and objectively assess what has happened. My costs are likely as follows: a permanent place on the D-list; at worst my pet project; at least a substantial amount of funding for it for the foreseeable future.

My gains: nothing.

I have however retained all my principles in refusing to compromise them to satisfy the one.

So comes my time of testing. At some point, those who hold fast to their beliefs will have everything taken away from them in order to prove if they will remain true or if they will capitulate and abandon them in the face of adversity.

And these are indeed hostile, adverse times. In stories like these, the victor is the one who fights to the end against the odds. But while in the midst of it all I can only see disaster.

The enemy is strong, the odds a thousand to one. Castle Black may have withstood the first attack, but there's more attackers that will assail the walls again tomorrow.

This is what I will face every day of my life now. There is no victory. Just to survive one more day is cause enough for celebration.

Helpful advice

For everyone who's all jacked up about the whole CPF thing, if you wanna stop worrying about it, be a CEO, don't be an employee.

Palate cleanser

Here's a little something to look at while I get through a terribly busy week. Sit. Good girl!

This. Ain't. Sparta!

Meh. It certainly wasn't the best two years of my life, and there isn't anything I remember fondly about it. But then, I don't believe I was supposed to enjoy the experience, anyway. So I say just suck it up and do your national duty.

Video link here in case the embed doesn't work: click.

To the vet's

Shots day for the dog. Also getting their shots are May's cat and our UTI cat. The good news is that UTI cat got a clean bill of health, though he was advised to drink more water to avoid a relapse.

Independent endorsements

We had the J1s share their personal reflections on their experience with NYeDC and Drama Night to date. Every single interviewee opened expressing how fun it has been for them. Elaborating further, they described how non-competitive our CCA was; how they felt relaxed during our sessions; and how they felt free to create and express themselves without having to fear the judgement of others. They also recognized that working as a team was essential to our success and that each one could contribute to the overall effort in their own special way.

Much of this feedback came from the kids who have had experiences with other CCAs before and then came over to join us because we didn't run our organization like Hitler Youth. With us, they say, they are able to enjoy close bonds of friendship, and many memorable moments spent in good company.

To be fair, it's not like theatre is a haven for slackers and losers. As an art form, there are skills to be acquired through training; a discipline that comes from a dedication to schedule; a sense of teamwork and coordination among people offering different talents and skill sets; and no small amount of courage in stepping out of a teenager's usual comfort zone and willingly "throw face" in front of friends, peers and family. Yet all of this acquired training is transparent because we offer it to them in a fun and non-threatening way. And we laugh a lot. It's the nature of our craft.

It's good for me to hear all this from independent sources speaking from personal experience. It's exactly the kind of CCA I've wanted to build: less focused on a fire-and-forget KPIs or national awards, and more on offering a positive experience in an art form that they will continue to enjoy (some may even grow to indulge in) for the rest of their lives.

But for today, let's hope the J1s will build on their positive experiences and find a way to bring their joy to a larger segment of our campus, not as a KPI but because everybody needs a little theatre in their lives.

What a ride! Drama Night 2014

I wish I could say that Drama Night 2014 went without a hitch. Still, we had the best run ever of our main feature which looked and sounded pretty scrappy during the rehearsals -- even down to the full-dress. The kids peaked on show night, thankfully, and delivered a snappy performance that had the audience rooting for them all the way.

'The Car', by local playwright, Verena Tay, is a script with a little bit of everything: nostalgia; tenderness; conflict; humour; and a conclusion that brings a tear or two to the eye. Yes, even to me who's watched the rehearsals several times over, it still packs quite a potent punch, especially when all the magic comes together like it did last night.

One of the best production decisions we made was to blow our budget on headset mikes for the cast. The dialogue was strong and clear, though we could have balanced the sound better -- particularly when raised voices got a bit too loud over the speakers. Our set elements were minimal, leaving a stage practically bare of anything but generic location markers: a park bench (outdoors); a pile of home removal boxes (indoors); and centrestage reserved for the eponymous car, personified by our lead actor portraying an old Fiat Marvellette with a personality and many wistful memories to share.

The kids did well to deliver an honest and believable performance. We felt for Daniel, dad with the best of intentions, but obsessively overprotective over his beloved daughter. And as mother predicts, his inability to recognise that his daughter is growing up drives a wedge between the family members, with the car caught in between. Interspersed amidst the family drama are comedic elements provided by the supporting characters of the car salesman and his bevy of show car demonstrators; the frustrated mechanic who can't find spare parts; and the rival Datsun -- bright, shiny, pink, utilitarian, and ultimately disposable.

Based on overheard comments during and after the show, the audience enjoyed a polished performance that was easy to follow and realistic to their experience. They were stunned by the emotionally moving conclusion. We haven't delivered emo for a number of years now, focused as we have been on comedy, and tears -- real, sincere ones -- have apparently made a timely comeback.

The J1 special item would have been utterly hilarious if we had more time to rehearse it in its final incarnation. It was a parody of the god-awful STB 'Let's go over there' ad featuring a female tourist dragging her male companion around S'pore's more touristy locations. In our parody, we focused on the reason why the male had to be dragged around and we settled on playing up the female's neurotic fetish for inanimate objects. The conclusion was meant to degenerate into a Muppet Show chaos... but the J1s are as yet unblooded by onstage mayhem and so it ended more conservatively flat than intended. A few more rehearsals and we could have made an impact.

The irritating bits were the curtain transitions and the rather unprofessional curtain-call which we rehearsed, but perhaps not often enough to become automatic. I suppose we could blame time constraints for not being able to rehearse the entire show from beginning to end. It was all we could manage to make the content satisfactory, but we really have to work harder on the packaging as well if we're going to evolve beyond 'school-show' standards.

So one more big milestone in 2014 is passed. Roll on Drama Night 2015!

Drama Night 2014 FDR in pix

Drama Night 2014 is upon us. Photos of tonight's full-dress rehearsal are available here. Amazing what a little judicious cropping can do to enhance a photo.

Brave

We worry a lot about our kids being right. I wish we'd spend more energy getting them to be brave instead. They can learn to be right any time in their lives. It's only now that they can be brave. And if they won't be brave now, it's unlikely they'll be brave when they get older and more set in their ways.

Outline bloat

I wonder if the current trend of crafting monster essay outlines for our essay test questions started with me. Looking back, whenever I wrote outlines, they were long and detailed, stuffed full of whatever garbage knowledge I possessed and could dredge up that would in one way or another fit the question. I was so proud of them, I'd even post them here for people to download, should they be so inclined. I'm not sure anybody did, but they're still in my previous posts, nonetheless. Hope the links still work.

Today, there's almost a competition among us to see who can drag out the longest possible essay outline. Somewhere, we seem to have forgotten what 'outline' means. It's a skeletal, basic structure of an essay. These days, we have bloated our outlines so much with content so that by word count, the outline is often way longer than the maximum size of an 'A' Level GP essay.

We've even gone to the extent of research by Google to acquire as much content as possible to dress up our outlines so that they don't look naked compared to anyone else's. And the discussions we have over them... the more the bloat, the more avenues for disagreement over question and terminology interpretation; the relevance of this or that approach; the aptness of this or that example or piece of evidence. We spend hours trashing out questions (sometimes just one question), and outlines to these questions; chopping and changing as we go. Occasionally, complete overhauls have to be done. All this before we let the kids have the questions to answer in their tests and assignments.

While we can say we work our asses off setting test questions, I wonder how much of this effort is actually productive? Kids writing essay tests face certain constraints that we don't: a maximum count of 800 words; a time limit of 90 minutes; and one brain each with no Internet access. We, on the other hand have a currently expanding word count; nearly limitless discussion time; many brains working together; and Google access. This huge disparity of constraints inevitably doom the kids to failure. How can they, with their limitations, possibly match our expectations? Anything they come up with will look incredibly crude and ignorant next to our expansive and erudite outlines. And when we mark, our tendency inevitably seeks out that which is missing from our expectations and penalize each omission cumulatively. There is no way for the average student to pass like this.

In a court of law, which judge prejudices himself by working out beforehand what arguments and evidence to accept and reject even before the trial begins? Rather, the judge weighs the arguments and supporting evidence offered by the opposing legal counsels, consults precedents and then makes a ruling. Likewise, when we are grading essays, each essay is a case we need to rule on. It's inherently unfair of us to presuppose an answer and score them low when their answers deviate from our expectations.

Perhaps this is the reason why we are sometimes surprised at the 'A' levels when some kids who usually pass our tests do unexpectedly poorly; and other kids who normally fail do unexpectedly well. It's probably the difference between those who are good at formulaic responses but apply the wrong formula, and those who just have to muddle through with no choice but to focus on the question. Anyway, as far as I can tell, Cambridge only releases its detailed report AFTER the markers have completed the marking and they only report on what they have observed of the overall performance of the cohort. I believe when Cambridge marks, the marking is done without prejudicing themselves beforehand.

So now that everybody is submitting monster outlines, I find myself swinging back towards flexible, non-partisan, short outlines of 5 or 6 sentences long, focused on the reasoning structures required by the question with no interest in the content. I have no control over what content the kids are likely to present me with, anyway, so content is a secondary concern. My primary concern is to see if they can address the question appropriately while making their logic transparent. For me (and likely Cambridge too) that's good enough to pass. Beyond that, I can then reward what content each kid provides accordingly. And that is a fairer marking system, I think.

The more things change

I hate "motivational speakers". In our meeting this morning, we were exhorted to embrace change and be more forward thinking in our approach. I couldn't agree more. But despite all the new and sudden changes we've experienced so far, I still think we're not thinking forward enough.

What I see is that we are still doing the same old thing, just more of it. We are being held back by our belief that our mission is to get kids past the uni entrance requirements. That's been our mission from the beginning, and it hasn't changed. In fact, all the more it's being reinforced.

If we want to embrace real change and make a real difference, we have to train our kids not just to enter uni but to thrive in the uni environment. They're not the same thing. When we are able to appreciate and articulate what that mindset change requires, then talk to me about making change. Otherwise, we're still going to be lagging behind.

Further reading: 'No, your organisation really won't innovate'

A show of their own

The NYght must be hands down the most popular of events on campus. An hour before auditorium doors open there is already a line. The noise and excitement only gets more frenetic the closer we get to curtain-up, and stays throughout the performances until final curtain. And even then, the celebrations continue as the exhausted contestants meet with their fans at the stage apron. Selfies and glitter abound.

Only on a night like this do we get to see the kids letting their hair down, determined to have a good time. This is the talent contest of the year, not to be missed because somebody inevitably knows somebody appearing on stage, belting out their own versions of the latest hits and showing off slick dance moves -- displaying an unexpected mobility going by how they usually slouch at their desks during tutorial time.

The importance of this event is not to be underestimated. First, it is their one and only opportunity to showcase their raw, unpolished talent. This is talent they can truly call their own, unsullied by any teaching or instruction provided by the best coaches money can buy. Their efforts are self-taught, their coordination; compositions; arrangements; and rehearsals all worked on in their own time rather than predetermined through adult supervision. This is student ownership in the truest sense of the word, and it's wonderful to see the whole thing come together.

This is not to say that the staff are completely hands-off. Staff manage the event but the content and substance are provided by the kids themselves. In this environment, the audience is entirely supportive and encouraging. Hiccups in the individual performances such as going off-key; the inevitable technical faults and delays; lapses of concentration; and the awkwardness of stage-fright are taken in good humour; while the audience is ever ready to forgive, showing their support with rhythmic clapping; generous applause; and enthusiastic singing along, buoying each performer's confidence enough to gracefully finish the set.

I've never, in other campus events, seen students rallying for each other to this extent. In other events, the knowledge that the performance has been stamped and approved by trainers and coaches raises expectations a lot and the house becomes less forgiving. In sporting events, the audience are led to chant artificially composed cheers according to a forced 3, 2, 1 togetherness. But on the NYght, it's wild; chaotic; friendly-competitive -- and yet it also reflects the kids' strongest support for one another in the entire school calendar. The performances may not in themselves be perfect, but that imperfection brings out the perfectness of the unity within the student body. This is the students' show, so let's keep it that way. Always.

Encouragement from a horse

Meh. Getting flack from upstairs about our choice for Dad in 'The Car'. So the kid was nervous and flubbed a couple of lines. Also, our choice of play was "too local" and probably wouldn't resonate with the 'foreign' judges. That, they say, is likely to devalue our assessment, jeopardising our chances at the top tier. Solution: conscript a better speaker for roles in our plays. The advice is, of course, well-intentioned, but certainly targeted at a very different goal from the one I am aiming at.

What is it with leadership? The higher they climb, the shorter-term the vision. There is no use in teaching the unwilling when there are those eager to learn, but would never get the chance to learn if winning was our top priority. Reminder: we're not here to chase accolades, we're here to encourage a life-long love of the art.

What was most encouraging for me at yesterday's performance was when a member of the audience stopped me for a little chat. She revealed that she was a long-ago member of the NYeDC and if I remembered her. I could not. She looked so different from the girl I knew when she was performing in our 'Animal Farm' in 200x. But when she mentioned her name, I immediately knew her role as Clover, the horse. Today, she is with the Arts Education branch of the NAC.

To me, that is a better success story for our little Drama CCA than achieving a high placement in a meaningless competition, which is no longer even identifying itself as a competition.

Run up to Drama Night

One milestone for the year finally crossed. The Drama Club made its Festival presentation today. It was an excerpt from local playwright, Verena Tay's, 'The Car'.

The eponymous car has survived a few decades, a very unusual feat for a car in S'pore. Because of the prohibitive COE tax, cars usually get scrapped after at most 10 years.

This car has seen a lot of the changes that S'pore has undergone, but more importantly, has seen the little girl grow to adulthood. Oddly enough, her major life experiences seem centered around the car, so he is a quite a repository of family history. If I were the girl, I wouldn't wrestle so much with the idea of having him scrapped. I would sell him to the Pawn Stars and probably get more money out of it.

Personally, I think the kids performed well at today's presentation. Their characters were quite real, their portrayals quite believable. Flubbed lines are par for the course, and I wish the recoveries could have been smoother, but we can't worry about that now.

Drama Night is just around the corner. That's gonna be an even bigger hurdle than the Festival presentation. No rest for the wicked.

Proxy of the Year

In a first, I (as Civics Tutor) get to read the citation for the Student of the Year in front of the most august College Day assembly. In another first, the Student of the Year has fallen ill and is unable to attend the ceremony in person. To make a perfect three of firsts, I get to receive the award for Student of the Year on her behalf. No, I've never been Student of the Year before, so yeah, it's a first.

When I delivered the award to the Student of the Year this afternoon, I got a chocolate cake and durian cake for my trouble. Awesome! Will place the chocolate cake in the staff room so my colleagues can help themselves to the token of appreciation from the Student of the Year. The durian cake, well, it had to be cut up and partially consumed in order to fit into my somewhat overstuffed fridge. It is no longer presentable, but is still edible. Trust me.

Pillars of light

Such an occurrence is hardly impossible on Diablo 3 RoS, but it is uncommon. Two Legendary item drops from the same elite pack of monsters is rare enough, but to have one regular (orange) and one set-piece (green) at the same time is just puking rainbows. Granted, both Legendaries turned out to be underwhelming in stat rolls and bonuses, but still...!

Lick my poop cycle!

We GP tutors think we are so important. We're all about complex systems, procedures and outcomes. Right.

What is GP really about when we strip all the elaborate trappings off our precious subject?

1) Read
2) Think about what you read
3) Write about what you think about what you read.
4) Read some more...

There is nothing else.

This process is akin to the poop cycle. Input --> processing --> output --> more input

The poop cycle is instinctive. The GP cycle, well, that's essentially the communication cycle -- and it works the same instinctive way.

The more procedure we try to drill into our students, the stronger the indigestion. Outcome: malnourished, bloated, constipated students with writing to match.

The truth is, the kids can survive if they are allowed to do what they do naturally. They can even survive without us. All we need to do is to help the process along -- let it flow, not impede the process with obstacles of 'GP' conventions.