I am upset with taily for being clairvoyant. Not a couple of months after suggesting I might smash my new Samsung cellphone, I have indeed accomplished the (then) unthinkable. There's now a thumb-shaped depression over a nasty crack on my poor phone's faceplate and the screen has gone blank apart from a few pretty coloured streaks of LDC material radiating from the epicenter of Ground Zero.

There are a couple of possibilities as to how the damage could have occurred. One: I'm a ham-fisted oaf who doesn't know his own strength, and pressed my thumb too hard on the faceplate as I was sliding the phone open (likely). Two: This damage is to be expected when a 40+ year-old crams his phone with his hard-plastic protected staff-pass in the pocket of his too-tight jeans, and the immense pressures that build up upon sitting his fat ass down proved too much for the delicate Korean-made product to withstand (I don't even want to consider this one).

Anyone know where I can take the casualty to get some A&E treatment?